


when the wicked play

by seimaisin



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cybersex, F/M, Nude Photos, Online Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-08-31 05:53:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8566468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seimaisin/pseuds/seimaisin
Summary: Vex and Percy only know each other online, through their favorite video game. They're both taken by surprise when their flirty, competitive relationship turns into a long-distance erotic game.
Except, it may not be as long-distance as they think, and Percy is definitely more than Vex realizes. His family's fame leads them to a real-life collision, and suddenly everything is way more complicated than it seemed on the internet ...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to blindvogel, who encourages this ridiculousness every step of the way. 
> 
> Title comes from the song "Wicked Ones," by Dorothy.

The first time, she blames it on alcohol. 

Not that Vex is drunk, really - she’s had nearly three beers by the time the raid is done, and finishes the third bottle as everyone else signs off their Discord voice channel. Eventually, the only ones left are her and Percy, which isn’t unusual. She’s cleaning up her inventory in-game when a private tell pops up on her screen. “Oh, go fuck yourself,” she tells the screen, rolling her eyes.

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry, dear, not you.” Vex hits the report button, and fills out the harassment form from unfortunate memory. “Just got an asshole in game who randomly asked me for nude photos.”

“What? Are you kidding? Who is it?” Percy sounds flatteringly outraged on her behalf.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s irritating, but not a big deal. I’m well familiar with the report harassment feature by now.” 

“I - well, that is - that sucks,” he finally settles on.

“Yeah, it does. Hazard of having a female avatar in the game, especially when I’m wearing this costume.”

“Your video game character shouldn’t be harassed for her clothing any more than you should in real life.”

Vex laughs. “Thank you, dear, I appreciate the sentiment. And you’re right, but tell me again when you’ve convinced the rest of your gender.” Another message pops up on her screen - shit, she forgot to hit “block” after reporting this asshole - and she flips off the screen. “Sorry, asshole, I only send nudes to guys who can hit at least 40K DPS on a boss fight.” 

“This probably isn’t the appropriate time to brag that I got 44K on the ogre king tonight, huh?” 

“Of course you did. I topped out at 41K, but I derped on my rotation in the middle somewhere.” She blocks the asshole and sits back, grinning. “So yes, Percy, you definitely qualify for nudes.”

“I was totally kidding,” Percy says quickly. “Honest. I’m not that kind of asshole, I swear.”

She can practically hear the blush in his voice, which delights her. “I know, which is also why you’d qualify. But I get it,” she says, with an exaggerated pout, “you don’t want to see my tits, I understand.”

He sputters, and she bursts into delighted laughter. “You are a terrible person, Vex’ahlia.”

“I know, but you love me for it.”

“How about I just say this,” he says. “If I were to get nude photos from anyone in this guild, I’d want it to be from you. Is that complimentary enough without getting me into trouble?”

“It passes muster. But don’t lie, you’d totally be into getting dick pics from Grog.”

“Oh dear god in Heaven, don’t put that picture in my head. No, no, it’s there, god dammit. Fuck you.”

Their conversation drifts off after that, but they continue to sit in the voice chat in companionable silence. But the idea has lodged itself in Vex’s brain, and the beer has worn down her inhibitions just enough to get her to “fuck it” levels of self-preservation. So she mutes her mic and boots up her webcam software. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she mutters to herself, giggling. 

Before she can talk herself out of it, she pulls her pajama top over her head. She can see herself on the screen now, topless, with hair sticking out of her messy braid. “No, if we’re doing this, we’re doing it right.” She pulls her hair out of the braid and finger combs it until the kinks look vaguely intentional. Then, on a whim, she pinches her nipples until they’re hard. She surveys herself on the screen. She won’t be modeling for Playboy any time soon, but her tits look pretty nice, if she does say so herself. 

Vex reaches for the mouse to take the picture, but at the last moment, leans over and grabs the small dry erase board sitting on the floor next to her - she keeps meaning to put it back up on the wall, but, well, she’s lazy about things like that. She picks up a marker and scrawls “HI PERCY” on the board. She holds the board in front of the lower half of her face, and readjusts the camera so that it gets her whole head in the picture, while still mostly framing her breasts. 

She takes several pictures; they’re all pretty good, but she selects the one where her hair is falling over her shoulder. Her eyes have a nice “fuck me” look to them in that shot, she thinks. 

(Does she want him to fuck her? She might consider it. She doesn’t really know what Percy looks like, other than the fact that he’s described himself as tall and skinny. But he’s got a lovely voice - warm and refined, and definitely a little sexy, especially when they’re talking late at night like they are right now. And he’s got a great sense of humor. She’s gone to bed with people for less, quite frankly.)

Before she can think twice, Vex pulls up her email, types in Percy’s, and puts “Your Reward” in the subject line. _For beating me in the DPS race_ goes into the body. She drags the photo into the email frame, and with a deep breath, hits send.

After that, all she can do is go back to inventory management and wait. Luckily, she doesn’t have to wait long. She knows her message has been received when she hears Percy sputter. “Holy fuck, Vex. What??”

“I told you that you qualified.” Suddenly, she finds herself a little nervous. Has she gone too far? Is she inadvertently sexually harassing one of her guildmates? “I’m sorry, you know, if that’s too much. I’ve had some beer tonight, and ... “ She trails off, feeling her cheeks flame bright red.

“I - um, I … oh, shit,” he groans. “I honestly don’t know how to answer that, Vex.”

“No, no, it’s okay. I go too far sometimes. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, I really am.”

“Uncomfortable.” Percy starts to laugh. “That’s true, but I don’t know if you mean it the way I do.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean - well that is - Vex, there’s a picture of a gorgeous naked woman up on my screen, and I don’t know whether I should delete it and never speak of it, or make it the wallpaper on my desktop so I can look at it constantly like a creep.” There’s a moment of silence, and then he speaks more quietly. “You are, you know. Really gorgeous. Holy shit.”

Vex’s cheeks are still burning, but it’s a different kind of heat now. “Looking at it isn’t creepy if I sent it to you on purpose, you know,” she says. “But if you need permission to enjoy my breasts, I give it to you.”

“I, um … thanks.” Percy fall silent for a long moment, long enough that Vex starts to freak out again. Then, he lets out a long, loud breath. “Holy shit. Seriously.”

Well, that’s nicely flattering, she thinks, and giggles. “Tell you what,” she says, absently beginning to play with her own nipple, “if you beat my DPS score in the next raid, I’ll send you an even better picture. You know,” she adds quickly, “if you want one.”

“Well …” He laughs, his voice a low sound that sends a shiver down her spine and makes her pinch her nipple without thinking, “If you’re willing to send pictures, I’m willing to appreciate them.”

“Don’t count your nudes before they happen, you still have to beat me. And I’m going to be trying even harder next time.”

“I’d expect nothing less.” 

Later, lying in bed, Vex slides her hand between her legs and pleasures herself to the memory of how Percy’s voice sounded when he said holy shit. She might feel embarrassed about this whole night the next time they all get online, but honestly, this is the sexiest thing that’s happened to her recently, and she figures she can enjoy it all she wants in the privacy of her own bedroom.

***

Percy doesn’t make the picture his wallpaper, but he does save it on his desktop for easy access. He names it “design 4” for some stupid reason - nobody lives with him, and even if they did, his computer is passworded and encrypted to within an inch of its life, so there’s really no one to see that he has a picture of a beautiful topless woman sitting right there. It makes him feel a little less like a creep, though.

Sleep is elusive. He refuses to - well, take care of the problem Vex caused, so to speak, because it somehow feels like a line he shouldn’t cross. So he lays awake for a long time, her voice and her picture stuck in his head. His alarm goes off far too early, and only then does he remember the conference call he has this morning. “Fuck me,” he mutters, rubbing his face.

A shower and a pot of coffee later, he feels somewhat human, and settles into his office for the call. It’s with a firm in Marquet, looking to build a new building for their headquarters. A tricky job, as they want the building to fit in with the rest of the Ank’Harel’s architecture; it would have been easier for them to hire a local firm, but they’ve come to the company he works for because of their reputation. Percy doesn’t fool himself - he may be the youngest partner, but his family name brings in a lot of potential business. It’s now up to him to prove to the potential clients that he’s the best architect for the job, with or without his name.

He’s an hour into the call, talking locally sourced materials and ideas for the entry hall, when he realizes Vesper is sitting behind him, on the small couch he keeps in the corner of his office. During a break in his speech, he mutes his mic and raises an eyebrow at her. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

She raises her iPhone at him. “I am working. Carry on.” 

His meeting continues for another twenty minutes before Percy can wrap things up and end the call. Once he’s put his earpiece down, he turns back to Vesper. “To what do I owe this honor?”

She continues typing on her phone, and does not look up. “Mom’s birthday.”

Percy shrugs. “It’s a thing that’s happening, yes. I think the whole country is aware.”

“Specifically, the garden party.” Vesper looks up. “You’re helping me plan it.”

He does not groan, but it’s a close thing. “Why me?”

“Because you’re the only halfway competent family member I have who is currently not away at university.” She lays her phone down and starts to count on her fingers. “Dad is useless for this sort of thing. Julius is an asshole. The twins can barely drag themselves out of bed before dark every day. So until Ludwig and Cass graduate and come home, you get to be my fellow adult.” 

Percy sighs. She’s not wrong. He loves his family, but some of his siblings are … well, not the most reliable. Not that he can talk sometimes. He’s the one who missed a Winter’s Crest family press event because he was too deeply involved in a build for the local robotics group. But he can at least be relied on to be sober most of the time, and to be relatively polite and diplomatic when he does show up somewhere. That’s better than some of his other siblings can boast. “Okay,” he says. “What do you need me to do?”

Vesper gives him a relieved smile. “I’m dealing with the venue - I’ve booked the formal gardens at Abadar Park, and the event planner there has been lovely thus far, so that part should go smoothly. Now I’m working on the invitations. There will be formal invitations, of course, but since most of these people are either nobility or very rich and important otherwise, it will be good if a member of the family contacts each of them personally to confirm they can come. Especially those who might want to play politics.” 

“Oh, dear lord.” Percy shoves his glasses up his face and pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s immeasurably proud of his mother - both the youngest and the first female prime minister in the country’s history - but sometimes the accompanying politics give him a headache. “Wouldn’t this actually be the perfect job for Dad?”

“I’m giving him a few, some of his old cronies, some of the jerk-offs in Emon who are more impressed by a meaningless noble title than anything else. But I can’t count on him to actually remember to do more than a few. So the rest belong to you and me.” Vesper taps her phone. “There, I just emailed you a list. A lot of them are people you may know through business, which is why I’m giving them to you. And some of them are just the misogynistic assholes who will be more impressed talking to a de Rolo son than the bitch daughter.” 

“The bitch Chief of Staff,” he reminds her.

“Yeah, you know some of these people haven’t entered this century yet, so my gender means I’m a bitch instead of just assertive and ambitious.” Vesper stands up. “Oh, right. There’s also a dinner Friday night, some of your list will be there. You should go and talk to them.”

He blinks. Friday’s the next raid - and after last night, there’s no way he’s missing it. “I can’t,” he says. “I have plans.” 

“Plans? That involve other people?”

“Yes, Vesper, I have friends. Friends who make plans.” She doesn’t need to know that those friends are all on the internet, and that their plans involve killing animated ogres and trolls. 

“Well, color me impressed.” She walks over to Percy’s chair and ruffles his hair. He swings at her, but she dodges out of the way before he can make contact. “Are any of these friends female, by chance?”

“A few of them are, in fact.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I’m aware you’re poking me about my love life, or lack thereof.” The next words come out before Percy can think better of them. “In fact, there’s one …”

Vesper’s eyes widen. “Really?”

“It’s nothing right now,” he says hastily. “We hang out, and I’m interested, I guess, but I don’t know if anything is going to happen. That’s all it is.” Oh god, why did he say anything? It’s not even true. Not really. But he can’t exactly tell her that there’s a woman he plays games with who sent him a photo of her breasts and now he’s obsessed with her. Not if he wants her to keep thinking that he’s a functional adult, anyway. Because that sounds terrible and creepy, and oh god, he’s a pathetic creeper, isn’t he?

His sister just smiles at him. “I’m so glad, and I hope it does turn into something. You’ll tell me if it does, right?”

“I promise, if my love life ever picks up, you’ll be the first to know.” Percy waves a hand at her. “Now shoo, I have work to do.”

“And I have to get back to the office before Mom’s new assistant accidentally sets fire to parliamentary documents or something.” Vesper comes over and kisses his cheek. “Thank you, brother, I appreciate your help.”

He spends the rest of the day working on the Marquet design. He only slips and opens Vex’s photo a half dozen times. Given how many times it appears in his mind, he considers that a victory.


	2. Chapter 2

Life at Abadar Park has been mass chaos ever since Vex announced that they’d be hosting the Prime Minister’s birthday party. As the events manager, she’s barely been able to leave her office in the last three days, for all the phone calls and emails and panicked employees running in and out. When Keyleth brings her fast food for lunch for the second day in a row, Vex accepts gratefully. “Blessings on you and your entire house.”

“It’s not going to be like this until the party, is it? That’s weeks away!” 

“Honestly, yeah, it probably is. This is the biggest thing we’ve ever done. If we don’t get it right … well, at the very least, I’ll never work again.”

Keyleth sits down in Vex’s guest chair. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

Vex grins. “This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Which is why it’s going to go well. At least, if my supplier will get me the new Tuscan Sun rose bushes I asked for last week.” 

“Have you used the Prime Minister thing on him yet?”

“No.”

“Do it. For the next few weeks, everyone has permission to use ‘but the Prime Minister’s party!’ as an excuse to hurry everyone the fuck up.” 

“You know me, I’m bad at being the bad guy. But I’ll do it,” Keyleth promises quickly, “because I don’t want to fuck this up. I swear.” She sighs, and steals a french fry from Vex’s lunch. “Are we raiding tonight?”

“As far as I know. I haven’t heard anyone can’t make it.” Vex hopes everyone can make it, anyway. Especially Percy. If only to reassure her that he wasn’t weirded out or scared off by her little gift the other night. He hadn’t seemed to be, but maybe in the light of day … she doesn’t know what got into her. But it was definitely a turn-on, the way he reacted. She hopes he’s still up for a little competition. It’s been awhile since she’s flirted hardcore with anyone, online or off, and it feels nice. “Hopefully we can get Grog his helm tonight.”

“It’s not like he has any problem tanking without it,” Keyleth points out. “When is the last time he actually died? Not counting the times the rest of us wiped first.”

“The helm will add to his taunt, though, so the bosses won’t turn on the rest of us as often. Once he gets it, it’ll be a lot easier on all of us.”

“True.” Keyleth sighs. “I just want to go back to the elemental plane dungeon, I need to upgrade my weapons.”

“That’s our next focus, I promise.” 

Vex’s office door opens, and Kynan pokes his head in. “Um. The maintenance guys say they can’t fix the leak in the women’s bathroom for at least two weeks.”

“The fuck they can’t,” Vex says, standing up and popping one last fry in her mouth. “We can’t get started on the improvements to the event center kitchen until the bathroom is fixed, and that’s going to take at least two weeks. Where’s Roger? I’ll talk to him.”

She’s torn between laughing and rolling her eyes when Kynan takes a couple of steps back from her. “Um. He’s on break right now. Out where everyone smokes.”

“His break is going to be postponed until he gives me what I want.” She waves at Keyleth as she leaves the office. “Finish the fries. I’ll talk to you tonight.”

Several hours later, Roger and his crew have reluctantly agreed to start work on the bathroom immediately (foregoing the repainting of benches in the Winter Gardens, which aren’t even being used for the party, so they shouldn’t have been on the priority list in the first place), and Vex finally feels stable enough to leave the park for the day. When she gets home, Vax is on the couch, finishing up his dinner. “Don’t worry,” he says, mouth full, “yours is still on the stove, you just need to heat it up a little.”

As she reheats her food, she calls back to him, “Your boy Kynan needs to stop acting like I’ll take a bite out of him every time he looks at me sideways.”

“Give him time, he’s probably a little overwhelmed. He’s a good kid.”

“I know, and he’s good at his job. He just needs a bit of spine.” 

“He’s better than he was when he came to us.” Vex doesn’t doubt it. Her brother works at a youth center, mentoring troubled teens; all she knows about Kynan’s past is that he had a really shitty father. _The kind that makes our sperm donor look like father of the year_ , Vax had said, and that’s not something he throws around lightly. It’s the reason she agreed to hire Kynan as her assistant. She doesn’t regret it - he really is good at the detail work she doesn’t have time for - but she does hope he’ll come out of his shell a bit soon.

After dinner, they settle down in their respective bedrooms and log into the game. Slowly, the rest of their guild comes online and gathers in Discord. The conversation is the usual mix of trash talking, game gossip, and random jokes. When Percy arrives, butterflies take up residence in Vex’s belly. “Good evening, sharpshooter,” she says casually. “Ready for some competition?”

“More than ever, darling.” The endearment isn’t new - they always tease each other like this - but it feels different now. She laughs, and they all get down to business.

At the end of the raid, everyone is happy - Grog most of all, now in possession of his helm. In the middle of the victorious chaos, Vex sends Percy a private message. _Post your damage, sharpshooter. Let’s see if you win anything_.

She hits “share” on her stats just as Percy’s numbers pop up. Vax starts to laugh. “Oh, you just missed, sis. He did a pinch more damage than you.”

Vex curses good-naturedly. She actually had tried to win - she’s competitive, after all - but she’s also smiling when Percy speaks up again. “I believe that means our wager is mine.”

“I believe so, yes.” 

Thankfully, the conversation has moved on, and no one asks what the wager is for. Vex waits for a while, but tonight seems to be a night when everyone wants to stick around in voice chat - of course. Finally, she sends Percy another private message. _So what’s your pleasure? Tell me what you want to see, and I’ll take a picture of it_.

The answer is a long time coming - long enough that Vex starts to panic, just a little. But finally, Percy’s username pops up on her screen. _I’d be happy with another like the last one, just showing your whole face_. She smiles at that. Other guys would have asked for more body parts, but maybe he’s a breast guy. As she pulls off her t-shirt, Percy’s voice comes into her headset, advising Keyleth about the best damage over time skills in her class. It’s not exactly dirty talk, but Vex still finds herself fondling her own nipples as she listens to him. She remembers how he called her gorgeous, and how he swore at the sight of her. If only everyone else would just get the hell out of chat, maybe she could hear him say something even dirtier. 

She snaps several pictures of herself; her expression seems a little awkward in most of them, but finally she gets one with a decent smile that doesn’t make her look like an idiot. (Besides, she thinks, he’ll probably be looking more at her tits than her face.) Then, on a whim, she takes one last picture of herself, cupping her breasts and pushing them up to make a ridiculous amount of cleavage, and winking at the camera. She attaches both pictures to an email, saying _this is me, listening to you talk lightning damage with Keyleth_. 

There’s a moment when Percy stops talking for a long while, though it may just be because Keyleth is rambling about her skill choices. It makes her nervous again. She checks and rechecks the address on her email, making sure she sent it to the right person. (God forbid she chooses wrong and sends the pictures to, say, Scanlan. She’d never hear the end of it.) 

Finally - finally - she gets an email in response. _You are, quite literally, the hottest woman I’ve ever seen_. 

She flushes hot at that statement. _Thank you_. Then, before she can think better of it, she adds, _What would you say if I told you I was sitting here fondling myself while I listen to you talk?_ After she hits send, she puts her face in her hands. “Oh gods, too far, Vex,” she mutters.

But Percy’s answer arrives almost immediately. _I’d say you’re making it very hard for me to concentrate on damage numbers. Seriously, you’re awful for putting that picture in my head._

_Awful as in you don’t want to see it, or awful as in you want to see it too much?_

_The latter. Definitely the latter._

There’s a part of her - a ridiculous, reckless part of her - that wants to turn on her video camera and show him, but she restrains herself. “You’ve gone far enough tonight,” she says aloud. 

Keyleth continues to ask questions, and eventually, Vex starts yawning. “It’s been a long week at work,” she says to the room. “I think it’s time for me to crash.” 

Everyone says good night. “I’ll get you next time, Percy,” she promises.

“I look forward to it.” 

As she falls asleep, she begins to wonder - if they wager again, and she wins, what might he give her? 

***

There are few things Percy likes less than Family Meetings. He loves his family - he really does - but when family get-togethers turn into Family Meetings, life invariably gets more complicated. It’s the major downside of having your mother be Prime Minister of your entire country. 

There are three different photographers loitering around the front of the national residence when Percy arrives. “Nothing to see here, folks,” he says as he walks up. “Just boring family nonsense.”

“Your family is never boring,” one of them responds. 

“You think? Then you go to this thing, and I’ll go back to work,” he shoots back. That does make the man laugh, while one of the others takes his picture. Great, he’ll probably appear in a gossip column somewhere later. 

When he gets inside, Vesper is waiting for him, frowning. “Stop encouraging them.”

“That guy is here more often than Julius is. I feel like we should buy him birthday presents at this point.”

Vesper just rolls her eyes. “Seriously. Don’t taunt the paps. We’ve got twin problems.”

Percy sighs, closing his eyes. “Oliver, Whitney, or both?”

“They’re not saying. One of them decided that it’d be a great idea to take the Emon ambassador’s daughter out clubbing, complete with some sort of recreational substance that apparently sent her to the emergency room. She’s too ill to talk yet, and the ambassador doesn’t know which one of them she was out with.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Now, he can hear his mother’s voice from the other room - she’s talking at a normal volume, which isn’t good news for the twins. The calmer she sounds, the angrier she is. “What’s the media situation?”

“Quiet right now, thank all the gods. It’s possible that no one caught it. But the ambassador is livid - he got my number, called me at four this morning, and told me that if he didn’t hear from Mom in the next fifteen minutes, he’d go to the media.” Vesper rubs her face; Percy can see the dark circles under her eyes when she pulls them back. “We’ve been in crisis mode ever since.”

Percy puts a hand on her shoulder. “You should have called me. I could have at least brought you guys coffee or something.”

“Nah, at least one of us got some sleep.” She sighs. “Come on, let’s go brave the lion’s den. We’re gonna get Cass and Ludwig on the phone, so they’re prepared if any news hits them at school.”

They’re set up in the informal conference room; the twins are seated on the loveseat in the corner, dressed identically in red shirts and jeans. Sometime in the last few weeks, they got haircuts that made them look completely identical again, at least to those who don’t know them. “You two are idiots,” Percy says, into the silence that descends as they arrive.

Whitney opens his mouth, but shuts it again at a look from his mother. She sits in her usual chair, at the head of a small conference table. Having assured silence from the loveseat, Johanna turns to Percy. “Don’t help. Just sit.”

He can do nothing but obey. He takes a seat next to his father, who’s sitting in the opposite corner. Frederick raises his eyebrows when Percy sits. “Good morning,” he whispers. Percy just gives him a wry half-smile in response. Vesper sits down on Frederick’s other side, grabs the coffee cup in front of him, and takes a large swig. Frederick just rolls his eyes in response. Meanwhile, across the table, Julius looks like he’s still dressed in last night’s clothes. He gives Percy a tired wave. 

The conference phone on the table rings; Vesper reaches out to answer. Cassandra’s voice comes into the room. “We’re both here, Mom, and relatively awake. What’s going on?”

“Well,” Johanna says pleasantly, “it seems that your brothers thought it was a great idea to give a seventeen year old girl a combination of alcohol and ecstasy, which sent her into a seizure, because surprise, she’s epileptic. By the way, did I mention that she’s Ambassador Kavin’s daughter?”

“Oh, shit,” Percy hears Ludwig murmur on the phone. 

“The Ambassador is rightly furious, and told me that he has three different news organizations on speed dial, just waiting for our response. So all of you are here so you know what’s happening, in case your brothers are not smart enough to follow my instructions.”

“Mom …” Oliver says.

“Quiet.” Johanna sounds almost pleasant, which makes Oliver’s mouth snap shut immediately. “The first thing that’s going to happen is that, once I’m done talking, either Oliver or Whitney will admit to being the person with Anastasia last night, since they haven’t seen fit to do so yet this morning. That person will then go to the Ambassador’s residence and make a full, sincere, in-person apology. He will be accompanied by Vesper, to make sure he actually does what he’s told.” Percy glances at Vesper, who just sighs heavily. Johanna continues, “After that, we’ll be finding the twins a nice charity project to occupy their time for a while. Preferably something that involves physical labor, so they’re too tired at night to go give illegal drugs to minors.”

“Mom,” Oliver tries again, “she told me she was nineteen.”

“And you think that matters?” Now her voice is cold. “You think her age is the biggest problem here?”

“I mean,” Oliver says, “she didn’t seem like she was new to … um, anything we did. She acted like she’d done it all before.”

Johanna just stares evenly at him. Across from Percy, Julius puts his face in his hands. “She was trying to impress you, you moron. She wanted to be cool, so she would do anything you say.”

“And that’s not the point,” Johanna says, giving Julius a long look. “The point is, if I so much as hear another rumor that either of you are out in public doing ecstasy or cocaine or even smoking a goddamned joint after this, your finances will be cut off entirely. Your father and I will stop paying for your townhouse, your cars, your insurance, and there will be no allowance. Period. Do you understand?”

“Mom, we were just having fun,” Whitney says. “You’d kick us out for that?”

“You guys could try, I don’t know, getting a job.” Ludwig’s voice is dry, coming through the speaker, and Percy is surprised at how much his little brother sounds like him. 

“Hush,” Johanna says, before the twins can reply. “Oliver, once we’re done here, you and I are going to go back to my office, so I can call the ambassador and find out if Anastasia has gone home yet. Whitney, you are going to sit right where you are until your brother has made his apology and I’ve smoothed this over. Vesper,” she continues, turning to her daughter, “do me a favor, put out some feelers and find out where we can find a charity that needs some manual labor. If any of this story breaks to the media, then we’ll put out a press release about the charity work. Otherwise, you two will work quietly, and without complaint. Is that clear?” Both boys mumble agreement, and Johanna turns to the rest of them. “Nobody breathes a word of this outside of this room. Vesper, when you find a charity, talk to me, and we can decide precisely what to tell them. If anyone asks any of you about anything regarding this incident, you know nothing - unless it’s the ambassador or his people, in which case you will be appropriately apologetic. Understand?”

The rest of them also nod assent, and she nods back. “Good. Sorry to wake you two,” she says to the phone, “have a wonderful day at school.” 

With a glance, Johanna leads Oliver out of the room. After she’s gone, Frederick sighs. “Honestly,” he says to Whitney, “what were you two thinking?”

“We were just having a good time,” Whitney mutters. “We didn’t mean to do anything wrong.”

“That would be more convincing,” Percy says, “if it weren’t for the ecstasy.”

Whitney flips him off, ignoring their father. “What do you know,” he says, rolling his eyes. “You’ve never done anything fun in your entire life.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Percy catches a small smirk on Julius’s face, but chooses to ignore it. “If ‘fun’ involves drugs and shoving myself into places with five million people, then yes, I’m happy to have avoided it.”

“And that’s why you’re going to die alone, with only your computer for company.”

“Enough,” Frederick says firmly. “Whitney, you’ve got no room to taunt your brother today.”

Vesper tugs on Percy’s arm. “Come on, I need your help with something. You too,” she says to Julius as they stand.

When they walk out of the room, Julius lets out a long sigh. “I feel bad for them.”

“For them?” Percy shakes his head. “What about the girl who’s in the hospital right now?”

“They’re idiots, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a phase we all go through.” He glances sideways at Percy. “Well, almost all of us.”

Percy rolls his eyes. “Yes, I’m terribly boring because I’ve never done ecstasy or corrupted a minor. Fuck off, Julius.”

“Fuck off, both of you,” Vesper says, smacking first Percy, then Julius in the arm. “This is bullshit, and it’s not about you assholes. And Julius, while I’m grateful that you were at least smart enough to not get caught, but I’d still really rather not know about your illegal substance habits.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” he protests. “Not really, anyway.”

“I don’t care.”

“Vesper,” Percy breaks in, “what did you need from us?”

“Nothing. I was just trying to make sure you didn’t kill Whitney. Or Julius.”

“Thank you,” Percy mutters. “If that’s all, I have work to do. Because some of us actually do work,” he adds, pointedly looking at Julius. 

Before Julius can respond, Vesper pushes Percy toward the door. “Go. Work. I’ll call you later.”

Percy can’t help but brood on his way home; his bad mood continues the rest of the day. It’s true, he’s never been one for clubs or partying, while three of his brothers practically live in the gossip columns. But that certainly doesn’t make him boring. And he can honestly say he’s never sent anyone else to the hospital … that he knows of, anyway. Why is that considered boring? Besides, by the time he was 21, like the twins are now, he’d already been out of university for three years. Maybe if he’d ever had friends his own age, he would have become more social … but he didn’t, and he doesn’t regret his life, not really. It doesn’t matter what his brothers think of him.

“And I do have fun,” he mutters to himself later that night, as he signs into the game. “It’s their loss if they don’t understand my kind of fun.”

He settles a bit when he starts to hear the voices of his guildmates. Maybe it’s a little sad, he thinks, that the people he considers his closest friends are actually only voices in his ear. But they probably don’t live anywhere near each other. Percy wonders what it would be like if he could hang out and trade barbs with Vax while they sat around drinking beer, or to be able to go check out the plants and flowers that Keyleth is so proud of cultivating. Scanlan has mentioned being a working musician - how fun would it be to go see him play sometime? And Pike and Grog are a riot to listen to online; he can only imagine how many painful belly laughs he’d get if he was able to see and talk to them in person. 

And then there’s Vex. She signs into Discord and starts greeting everyone, and Percy feels his pulse quicken. He can’t pretend his desire to meet Vex in person is entirely friendly, not now. Not that he doesn’t want to be friends with her - she’s maybe the best friend he’s made in this guild, wickedly funny and always willing to listen to him complain, or cheer him up with ridiculous stories about her and Vax that are most likely untrue. But, as he listens to her talk, he pulls up the pictures she sent him after the last raid. He’d love to meet her, to hang out with her as a friend, have a conversation or ten. However, if he’s honest, now he’d like to have those conversations while they’re both naked, sweaty, and sated. 

Percy quickly closes the pictures and concentrates on the game conversation. He hasn’t been on a date in months - close to a year, he realizes. And now, the closest he’s come is jerking off to pictures of his video game guildmate. Maybe he is just as pathetic as his brothers think.


	3. Chapter 3

Percy is off his game tonight. He knows it the moment they hit the dungeon. He completely blanks on his rotation for the first half second of the initial boss, and it just goes downhill from there. He starts cursing at himself halfway through, forgetting his mic isn’t on push to talk, and Vex starts laughing at him. “Having problems, darling?” she asks, as her archer gets the killing blow on yet another zombie. “I do hear performance problems happen to all men eventually.”

“Very funny,” he mutters, but it does the job she likely intended - he smiles to himself. Too bad it doesn’t actually improve his game play any. When the raid is done, he’s not surprised to find that her DPS outstrips his by several thousand. “It was a bad day,” he mutters good-naturedly.

“Come now,” Vex says, “don’t be a sore loser.”

“That’s not a complaint, nor is it a slight to you,” he assures her. “You definitely earned your victory. Just a statement of fact.”

She’s quiet again as everyone else says their good nights. When it’s just the two of them in the chat, she speaks again. “You sound tired. It really was a bad day, wasn’t it?”

Percy suddenly wishes he could tell her all about it. It would be nice, to be able to confide in her about his family, and all the craziness that comes with them. But if there’s one thing his mother would kill him for, it’s spreading family business to a relative stranger. Not that Vex is a stranger to him, not really - but he really doesn’t know anything about her offline life, and especially after today’s drama, he can’t take that chance. “Family bullshit,” he finally allows himself to say. “I don’t really want to talk about it, but thanks for asking.”

“No problem.” She pauses. “Just tell me this - family doesn’t mean a spouse and kids, does it? Because I don’t want to think I’ve been doing … um, whatever we’ve been doing with someone who really shouldn’t be doing it.”

Percy lets out a surprised laugh. “No! No, nothing like that. For me, family is still parents and siblings, trust me.”

“Oh, thank the gods,” Vex says with a relieved sigh. “I just had to check.”

“I guess I can … assume the same?” Percy asks tentatively. “I mean, I know you live with your brother, because I can hear you guys yelling at each other sometimes. But …”

“Nope, he’s all the family I’ve got.”

There’s something a little sad in that statement, but Percy doesn’t really want to touch it. Instead, he chuckles. “Honestly, you’re lucky. I have too many family members breathing down my neck most days.”

“We all want what we don’t have, I guess.”

There’s an awkward pause, and then Vex laughs. “Okay. Enough stupid real life stuff. I think you’re distracting me from the real topic, which is the fact that I won tonight.” But then, she pauses. “I know we didn’t officially bet anything tonight. So if you want to let it go, we can. I’ll just make sure to get an official wager from you next time.”

The offer warms Percy in a way he can’t quite express. He finds himself grinning at the computer screen. “No, no, you’ve provided me with such lovely gifts for my wins, it wouldn’t be fair to deprive you of your victory. However …” He clears his throat, feeling himself blush, and is thankful she can’t see him right now. “For reasons that I beg you not to ask about, pictures are off the table right now.” It’s not that he doesn’t trust Vex - he does, even if he doesn’t actually know who she is other than a good online friend. But he can still just see his mother’s reaction if it were to ever get out that her son - specifically Percy, out of all of them - was sending nude photos of himself to someone online. Perhaps, he thinks, he should save that sort of thing at least until the twins’ most recent idiocy has faded a bit.

“Awww, Percy, you know they have medicated creams for that sort of thing, don’t you?” The question is asked so sweetly that it takes Percy a moment to actually understand it, at which point he bursts out into embarrassed laughter. Vex joins in, her laugh more of a cackle that really shouldn’t sound as good as it does, honestly. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. That’s perfectly fine. I mean, I’d love to see what you look like, in one way or another …” Percy can almost picture her eyebrows waggling with that phrase, “... but I’m not going to insist you do something you don’t want to do. Besides, I can be creative with my requests.”

The last sentence sounds almost like a purr, and Percy shivers. “Tell me what you want, other than photos or video, and it’s yours.”

“Ooooh, I like the sound of that. Hmmmm.” She pauses for a moment, and Percy searches his brain, trying to get an idea of what she might possibly ask of him. Before anything occurs to him, though, she speaks again. “I know! I want you to read something for me.”

He blinks. “What?”

“You have a ridiculously sexy voice, Percy. I want you to record something for me.”

“Um. I do?”

“You do. So that’s what you should do for me. Find something sexy, and record yourself reading it. And for the record,” she continues, “while I do think you could sound sexy reading the phone book, I want you to find something _actually_ sexy to read.”

“Why don’t you pick something out?”

“I mean, I could. I’m just not sure you want to start with my taste in erotic literature. The last one I read involved bear shapeshifters going into heat.” She giggles. “Which, I mean, you could read, if you want. I certainly wouldn’t say no to hearing you tell me about shapeshifter orgies.”

“I’d rather not,” he admits. “Bear shifters? Really?”

“Fuck you, I like erotica.”

“I do too, I just prefer my erotica to have more quality.”

“You fucking snob,” Vex says, with more than a little affection. “Then read me some quality erotica.”

Percy thinks for a moment, turning to the bookshelves that line his office walls for potential ideas. Unfortunately, most of the books he has stashed in here are either dry missives on architecture or the horror novels he reads when he needs a break. But an author’s initials spark an idea. “Yes,” he says softly. “Oh, yes, I think that will do nicely.”

“What?”

“Never you mind.” He grins, sitting back in his chair. “I know what I’m going to do. Let me go do it, and I’ll email you with the results a little later.”

“Ooooh. By all means. I’ll be here, anxiously waiting for you.”

When he signs off from the chat, Percy rises from his desk, grinning to himself. “Now, where did I put those old university books?”

***

Waiting is torture, Vex finds.

She wanders out to the kitchen for something to drink - thankfully, Vax hasn’t emerged from his room, because she’s not really in the mood for small talk. Not when she’s left imagining what Percy might be recording for her. What does he consider erotic? Obviously not her taste in literature, she thinks with a grin. “I’ll have you know,” she tells her empty bedroom, as she sits down again, “shapeshifter orgies are really fucking hot.” But she has no desire to pick up her book while she’s waiting - not when she’s got Percy’s voice in her head, saying all sorts of lovely things.

A half hour passes. Then an hour. Vax sticks his head into her bedroom. “Going to bed,” he says, yawning. “I’ve got an early morning, I’m taking the kids to the science museum tomorrow. You wanna come?”

“No, I’ve got an important meeting - Vesper de Rolo is coming to my office to talk about something, and I quote, ‘unrelated to the prime minister’s party.’” She raises her eyebrows. “I have no idea what to think about that.”

“You’re traveling in rare company these days, Stubby. Maybe you’re destined to become a politician and leave your poor asshole brother behind.”

Vex laughs. “Oh no, you wouldn’t get out of it that easy. If I end up getting stuck in politics, you’re coming with me.”

“You’d have to catch me first, and we both know I’m faster than you.” Vax grins. “Good night, don’t embarrass yourself in front of a de Rolo.”

“I’ll certainly try not to.” She blows a raspberry at him as he leaves.

Another half hour passes, and Vex starts to yawn. Her meeting isn’t early, but it is in the morning, and she’s going to have to get some sleep if she wants to be at her best - and when meeting with the prime minister’s daughter (and chief of staff), a person should definitely be at their best, she figures. She’s almost decided to shut down the computer and look for Percy’s recording in the morning when her email notification flashes at her. “Oh, thank the gods,” she sighs, seeing his email address. But her heart starts to pound as well, especially when she reads the note he left along with the link to the audio file. _Some erotica with class, at your request. I hope it does half as much for you as your photos do for me._ The thought of Percy looking at her photos again, when they’re not talking, and getting turned on … well, it turns her on, and she hasn’t even listened to his recording yet.

Shivering with anticipation, she slips her headphones back on, and downloads the file he’s left for her. When she presses play, Percy’s voice fills her ears again. “So, I took a poetry class at university, mostly because it was the only class available when I needed my last humanities credits. It really wasn’t my thing, for the most part, but I did develop an appreciation for e.e. cummings. Especially after I found this particular book of his work. I hope this is close to what you were asking for.” Vex smiles. Her general knowledge of poetry begins and ends with Shel Silverstein and dirty limericks, but she’s curious to see what he considers sexy poetry.

And then the reading begins.

_my youthful lady will have other lovers_  
_yet none with hearts more motionless than i_  
_when to my lust she pleasantly uncovers_  
_the thrilling hunger of her possible body_

_Noone can be whose arms more hugely cry_  
_whose lips more singularly starve to press her -_  
_noone shall ever do unto my lady_  
_what my blood does, when i hold and kiss her_

Vex clasps her hands over her heart, left breathless at the words. His voice is low, and a little tentative at first, but the tiny stumbles just make it more erotic - they remind her that he’s doing this for her, reading directly to her. Perhaps thinking about her as he reads.

When the first poem finishes, he pauses, then immediately launches into another one.

_Lady,_ i _will touch you with my mind._  
_Touch you and touch and touch_  
_until you give_  
_me suddenly a smile, shyly obscene_

Lady i _will_  
_touch you with my mind. Touch_  
_you, that is all,_

_lightly and you utterly will become_  
_with infinite ease_  
_the poem which_ i _do not write._

Each repetition of the word “touch” makes Vex shiver - the way he murmurs it, she can almost feel the physical touch itself.

Somewhere in the third poem, he finds his rhythm, and his voice is as hypnotic as she imagined it might be. He reads several more poems - some surprisingly fun and cheeky, but all filled with imagery that makes her desperately wish for something tactile, for lips and arms and a body to wrap herself around. Percy’s body. Whatever he may look like, whoever he may be. But since she’s alone in her room, she contents herself with her own fingers, slipped between her legs and rubbing gently as she listens.

When he reaches the final poem, though, his voice trembles again, just a little. It makes Vex wonder what he was thinking as he recorded it - was he as aroused, reading, as she is listening? Was he touching himself, like she is? Maybe, maybe not, but the thought makes Vex press her fingers harder against her core. The poem itself undoes her even more.

_she,straddling my lap,_  
_hinges(wherewith I tongue each eager pap)_  
_and,reaching down,by_ merely _fingertips_  
_the hungry Visitor steers to love's lips_  
_Whom(justly as she now begins to sit,_  
_almost by almost giving her sweet weight)_  
_O,how those hot thighs juicily embrace!_  
_and (instant by deep instant) as her face_  
_watches, scarcely alive, that magic Feast_  
_greedily disappearing least by least-----_  
_through what a dizzily palpitating host_  
_(sharp inch by inch) swoons sternly my huge Guest!_  
_until(quite when our touching bellies dream)_  
_unvisibly love's furthest secrets rhyme._

The recording trails off, but Vex can’t bring herself to move, or do anything until her fingers finish their work and she shudders with her own release. “Oh gods,” she breathes when she’s done, her face flushed with both heat and embarrassment. This is somehow different than getting herself off to a memory of their conversation, to an idea of his reaction to her pictures. This is infinitely more intimate, letting his actual voice coax her to an orgasm. Should she admit this to him? It feels like crossing another line - but, then again, what had either of them expected when she asked for this?

She gets up to use the bathroom and wash her hands, her legs still trembling a bit. When she sits back at her computer, she thinks for a long moment, then hits Reply on the email. _Wow. That was … inspiring. I’m glad I asked you to record it for me, so I can go back and listen again whenever I need, um, inspiration._ She hits send before she can think better of it.

Percy’s response arrives within minutes. Vex breathes a small sigh of relief - somehow, knowing that he was on the other end, likely waiting with the same sort of nerves she had when she sent the pictures, makes her feel better. _I’m glad you like it. And I won’t ever be able to read those poems again without thinking of you. So you’re still inspiring me, even without photos._

Once again, she lets her impulses lead the way when she replies. _If we’re talking the same sort of inspiration, I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling so inspired tonight. Your voice is ridiculously hot, Percy, and those poems were unfair._

She can almost hear him speaking his response, which makes her smile. _You’re the one who asked for something sexy. You have only yourself to blame. I’m certainly blaming you for my current state._ The last statement gives her a little jolt. Confirmation that he’s aroused, just like her … even after her orgasm, the idea makes her tremble a bit.

_Just do what I did. My hand is a poor substitute for the alternative, but it does in a pinch._

When she hits send, she immediately curses herself. Wherever the line is, in this game they’re playing, this probably crosses it. But then the reply comes. _Vex, if I told you exactly what that mental image does to me, I don’t think either of us would get any sleep tonight. So I think it’s time for me to go to bed and … consider your inspiration very carefully. And consider how best to win our next bet. Good night, darling._

She shuts down her computer, but it’s a long time until Vex sleeps - and it requires help from her vibrator to eventually do so. When she drifts off, she can still hear Percy’s voice in her ear, murmuring rhythmic, erotic thoughts. _This_ , she thinks drowsily, _is going to be a big problem._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All quoted poetry in this chapter is from e.e. cummings' [Erotic Poetry](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003DMJDUA/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1), which I highly recommend. And if you'd like your own bit of inspiration, go listen to Tom Hiddleston reading one of the other poems I imagine Percy also read for Vex. :)


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Vex is in her office bright and early, one full pot of coffee down and another giant cup on her desk, to greet Vesper de Rolo. “It’s nice to see you again,” she says, shaking the woman’s hand, “but I admit, you have me curious. If you’re not here about the party, what can I do for you?”

Vesper smiles; this makes her look far younger than she had during their first meeting, where she was all business. She takes a seat in Vex’s guest chair. “I have a favor to ask you. And before I do, I want to stress that you can say no, without any effect on the party whatsoever.”

Vex sits at her desk, eyebrow raised. “That’s great, if a little frightening.”

“It isn’t scary, I promise. Okay,” Vesper corrects herself, “it might be, which is why I’m giving you the out. It involves my brothers.”

“Which ones? I know you have several.”

“Five, to be exact.” Vesper makes a face, which makes Vex laugh. “Specifically, though, this is about the twins. Oliver and Whitney are, at their core, a pair of handsome, rich, 22-year-old assholes. And I say that with all of the irritated affection an older sister can muster.”

Vex just laughs harder. “As the proud owner of just one handsome, not-so-rich, twin asshole, I applaud you for not committing murder yet.”

“I like that you added the ‘yet.’ Shows you really do understand.” Vesper sighs, then turns serious. “Oliver and Whitney recently got into some trouble. I won’t go into details, but if things hadn’t gone their way, it could have been international incident, possible jail time kind of trouble. They got lucky, but my mother has insisted that they do some volunteer work to hopefully keep them out of trouble.” She leans towards Vex. “I want to ask if you could use the help around here.”

“Wait … you want your brothers to come work here?”

“Volunteer,” Vesper corrects. “You’d get free labor from a pair of young men who are hopefully properly frightened of their mother, at least, if not by the havoc they nearly caused. You can use them for anything - hell, if you put them to work scrubbing toilets, I’d bring popcorn and come watch, because that would be spectacular.” She leans back in her chair. “They’re not terrible kids, honestly. They’re just spoiled. But they’re also charming and funny, and when they bother to do any work, they’re pretty good about it. If you want help planting things or scrubbing things or just generally getting this place in shape before the party, they could be useful.”

Vex thinks for a moment. “You know,” she says, “I think we could give it a shot. I just lost a few workers - end of the university semester, people going home - and the head gardener could use some help hauling the new plants around. Why don’t we give it a week long trial run, and see what happens?”

“You’re a godsend.” Vesper beams at her. “I’ll bring them by this afternoon. Feel free to give them some kind of obnoxious morning start time, so they actually get out of bed before noon. That would make my entertainment for today truly complete.” 

True to her word, she brings her brothers to the park mid-afternoon. They’re certainly handsome, Vex thinks, sizing them up as she approaches them in the main garden. They’re dressed to match, in polo shirts and khakis, with identical slicked-back dark hair and bright blue eyes. She can only imagine the effect they have on women everywhere. She grins. This is going to be fun. “Hello again,” she calls to Vesper.

“Vex’ahlia! Thank you so much for helping us out.” She gestures to her brothers. “Left, Oliver, right, Whitney. Say hello, boys.”

“Hello Vex’ahlia,” they say in unison. 

When the twins focus on her, she sees a wolfish glint in their eyes that makes her want to laugh. _Keep dreaming, boys._ Instead, she looks carefully at their faces. Oliver has a scar in his eyebrow, she notices, while Whitney’s front teeth are just a tiny bit different in size. That’s enough, she thinks, to keep her from falling for any twin tricks. She looks at both of them, then back at Vesper. “They look really soft. Are you sure they can handle actual work?”

That gets the response she’s expecting. “We’ll do anything you throw at us,” Oliver swears. “You name it, we’ll do it.”

Vesper just grins at Vex. “Good luck. They’re all yours.”

As Vesper walks away, Vex puts her hands on her hips. “So. I hope you boys are ready to get dirty …”

 

“... so while Whitney was trying to impress Keyleth, his brother decided to come up behind him and steal the bucket, so when he turned to dump the dirt, he ended up burying his iPhone instead.” Vex just shakes her head. 

Vax laughs. “I’m bringing my kids to the park tomorrow, want me to whip them into shape for you?”

“I’m counting on it. They’re actually not terrible - okay, well, they are terrible, but it’s a manageable kind of terrible. And they seem to be willing to actually work, which makes it easier.” Vex shakes her head. “Seriously, I can’t believe I’m babysitting the prime minister’s kids, on top of planning her birthday party.”

“Nobody better than you to do it,” her brother declares, ruffling her hair as he passes behind her chair. Then, when he reaches his bedroom door, he stops to look at her again. “So, was Keyleth impressed by this asshole?”

Vex rolls her eyes. “Why don’t you ask her, you coward? You’ll be talking to her in a few minutes anyway.” 

He answers with an obscene hand gesture, which makes Vex laugh as she puts away her dishes from dinner and heads back to boot up her computer. When she logs into Discord, the first thing she hears is Percy’s voice, responding to some comment she missed - she shudders, the poetry echoing in her brain. “Good evening, folks,” she manages to say, bright and cheery. “Who’s ready for some raiding tonight?”

They’re all in top form tonight - they run the second most difficult dungeon in the game twice, and the second time, they beat their previous team high score. Vex thinks she’s done really well for herself personally, as well - at least until Percy posts his score. “How do you do that?” she groans, putting her hands over her face. “Seriously, I beat my all-time personal best tonight, and you’re still better than me.”

“To be fair,” Percy says sympathetically, “I was reading a post on Reddit today that says this week’s update buffed some of the Gunslinger abilities more than it was supposed to. Apparently I’m just superpowered right now.” As the rest of the group chats, Vex gets an in-game text message. _We can forget any betting tonight, if you want, since the classes are so unbalanced right now. I want things to be fair._

Vex grins. _Oh no, we have a tradition, it’d be a shame to lose it now. Besides, if I got that close to your score while you’re buffed to hell and back, that means I would have kicked your ass under normal circumstances. But you won, so you name your prize._

The answer comes quickly. _Okay, if you’re up for it … why don’t you record something for me this time?_ Almost immediately after: _Something sexy, but please god, no werewolf erotica._

Vex laughs at that. _Don’t worry, I think I can find something suitable._ Then she yawns. _It’s been a really long day, so you might not get the recording until tomorrow, if that’s okay._

_No rush. Hard time at work?_

_Biggest job of my entire life. I’m living and working in mass chaos for the next week or so. Wish me luck._

_Done, but I bet you don’t need it. Whatever it is, you’re going to kill it, because you’re just that good._

His belief in her warms her in a way their conversations usually don’t - maybe they don’t actually know each other, and maybe he’s just saying things to make her feel better, but she really likes the idea that Percy might believe she’s worth something outside of the game. (Outside of both the video game and their personal game.) As she gets ready for bed, Vex starts to wonder … would Percy want to meet her? Like, in person? She has no idea where he lives, or what he does for a living, or anything important in the real world. But she knows he’s funny, and charming, and kind, and makes her ache like nobody else ever has. She really wants the chance to find out if that translates into something more … something real.

“You’re getting sappy,” she tells herself in the bathroom mirror. “Why don’t you just enjoy the sexy stuff for now, and think about that shit after the prime minister’s party?” 

The admonition isn’t entirely effective, but it does distract Vex enough that, by the time she climbs into bed, she’s considering her options for erotic reading material. She doesn’t have many ideas for that, but just as she’s about to drift off, another idea occurs to her - something wonderfully evil, ridiculous and maybe too much, but the moment it occurs to her, she’s so delighted that she knows she has to do it. 

Percy has no idea what’s going to hit him tomorrow.

*

His mother’s birthday is actually on Tuesday; the big party is scheduled for a week from Sunday, but this weekend is for their private family celebration. They’ve all been at the family residence since early afternoon, and by dinnertime, the togetherness is starting to wear on all of Percy’s siblings. He started tuning out most of the conversations at the beginning of dinner; the only one he’s paying attention to is Cassandra, who is regaling him with tales of professors he remembers from his time at the same university she’s attending now. He only starts to pay attention to the conversation at the other end of the table when he hears his mother say patiently, “Oliver, Whitney, please do not sexually harass the event planner.”

“We’re not!” Oliver protests.

“Or the park’s head gardener,” Vesper adds.

“We’re perfectly polite to everyone,” Whitney says. “We’re just saying, here in the privacy of our own home, that they’re both really hot.” 

“If you get into any trouble at the park before the party, I swear to god, I will kill both of you. Slowly, and with great pleasure.” Vesper already looks like she might stab Whitney with her fork.

“You’re making a big deal over nothing.” Whitney sounds exasperated - which actually makes Percy more inclined to believe him. If he was lying, his voice would do that wheedling thing that annoys the shit out of Percy. “We’re working at the park, just like you told us to. Our boss is a very attractive woman, who we are not harassing or being inappropriate with at all. But apparently we can’t even mention that we find her attractive without the wrath of god coming down on us. Fuck off, Vesper.”

“Whitney,” their mother says warningly.

“No mom, really.” Whitney appears to be getting warmed up now. “I’m tired of letting her shit all over us because she thinks she’s better than we are. Okay, yeah, we fucked up, and we’re doing our penance. And we’re doing pretty good, I think - I mean, I heard Vex tell Vesper that she was impressed with us …”

Percy blinks. He must have misheard that name - he has a one-track mind right now, after all. Or it’s someone else named “Vex,” there has to be more than one woman by that name in the world. It just startled him, that’s all. He’s been trying not to check his email compulsively all day, waiting for her recording, and he’s starting to let that bleed over into his real life. Maybe he’s a little pathetic right now.

“... we’re the terrible ones, and Vesper and Percy are the perfect ones, and -”

“Wait, I’m not involved in this conversation, how did I get dragged into this?” Percy wonders aloud.

“Come off your high horse, this isn’t about perfection,” Vesper says, poking her finger towards Whitney. “Last time you two showed up at a political event, you tried to pick up Minister Daxio’s new wife. Excuse me if I don’t buy your innocent act for a minute.”

“She came onto me!” Oliver protests. “And I didn’t know she was married to that asshole Daxio, she wasn’t even wearing a ring! But you don’t believe me, you never do, it’s always our fault.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Cass says under her breath. “I thought we’d at least get to the birthday cake before we got to this part of the day.”

Percy pulls his phone out of his pocket and, keeping it under the table, quickly checks his email. When he sees Vex’s name pop up, he pushes back from the table. “As fun as this is,” he says quietly to Cass and, on her other side, their father, “I need to answer an email, I’ll be right back.”

He escapes out to the living room, where the argument is little more than indistinct (yet irritated) voices. The email from Vex is … intriguing, to say the least. _I found something to read that won’t offend your delicate sensibilities. But I also had a brainstorm, and added a little something extra, shall we say. Let’s see how long it takes you to spot it._ He stares at the email for a long minute - he shouldn’t download the file now. There’s no way he should listen to whatever she sent him while sitting in his parents’ living room. “You can listen in the car on your way home,” he mutters to himself. That way, he can take care of … well, whatever reaction she’s inevitably going to cause when he gets back to his apartment. That’s the smart thing to do.

That resolution lasts for all of ten seconds, before he’s grabbing his ear buds out of his bag and plugging them into the phone.

A moment later, Vex’s voice fills his ears. “I read Lady Chatterley’s Lover a long time ago, and still had my copy stashed in the closet. I figured it was sexy without being too explicit for your tender sensibilities.” He hears the teasing in her voice, and grins to himself. “And I’ve come up with something else to keep me amused during the reading. I hope it amuses you, too.” 

And then she begins reading, her voice low and breathy. Her tone is more erotic than the text, truth be told; he shivers as she describes the male character undressing, forming a picture in his mind of what it might be like to stand in front of her like that. The only distraction is an odd buzzing noise in the background - Percy knows she lives in an apartment, and figures it must be hard to find a truly quiet place to record. Better to ignore the background noise, and concentrate on the words she’s saying.

“He too had bared the front part of his body and she felt his naked flesh against her as he came into her. For a moment he was still inside her, turgid there and quivering. Then as he began to move, in the sudden helpless orgasm, there awoke in her new strange thrills rippling inside her. Rippling, rippling, rippling, like a flapping overlapping of soft flames…” Vex pauses here, and Percy hears her take a sharp breath. The buzzing is louder now, in the unexpected silence. Her voice is a little shaky when she starts again, and suddenly, Percy starts to wonder ... “… soft as feathers, running to points of brilliance, exquisite, exquisite and melting her all molten inside. It was like bells rippling up and up to a culmination.” Her voice squeaks on the last word, and her breathing gets a little heavier.

And with that, Percy realizes exactly what she’s doing.

He rips the buds out of his ears quickly, and hits pause on the recording. “Holy shit,” he breathes. There is no way he can listen to this here. 

There is nothing he wants to do more than listen to that goddamned recording.

With a lot of effort, he puts his earbuds away and slides his phone back into his pocket, before standing up and walking back into the dining room. Thankfully, the argument seems to be over, though the twins are very pointedly not looking at Vesper. But even with relatively pleasant conversation, it feels like torture, waiting for dinner and birthday cake to be over so he can excuse himself without offending anyone. Percy isn’t sure how many people notice his distraction, but thankfully, Cass is the only one who comments on it. “What’s wrong with you?” she asks quietly, while everyone else is distracted by cake. “Is something going wrong with work?”

“What? No - why do you ask?”

“You went out to answer that email, and you came back all flushed and agitated. Something wrong, clearly.”

Percy struggles not to blush even more. “It’s fine. It was actually a personal email. It’s a long story.”

“You have a personal life now? Good for you.”

Percy gives her a look. “Not you too.” Cass just grins at him and reaches across the table for her slice of cake.

He has to endure nearly another hour, with his phone (and that fucking recording) burning a hole in his pocket. But finally, after dishes have been cleared, Percy slips over to his mother and gives her a hug. “I have to go,” he says quietly, “there’s an issue with one of my projects, the contractors need some information tonight.” He feels a little bad for lying, especially at her birthday party, but if he has to sit here any longer he’s going to go mad.

His mother smiles and kisses his cheek. “Go. Thank you for the lovely birthday.”

“Thank Vesper, she’s the one who organizes everything.”

“I know. But thank you for being here, and for not rising to your brother’s bait.” She shakes her head, a small smile on her face. “My children. I love you all, but sometimes I wish I could drop all of you into a volcano.”

Percy laughs. “Well, then, let me go find a volcano for you. I love you.”

“Love you too, dear.”

He avoids any other prolonged goodbyes by leaving through the garage - rude, perhaps, but he’s at the end of his patience. When he makes it to his car, he connects his phone to the radio and restarts the recording. And yes … now that he’s recognized the sound, it’s undeniable. Vex is using a vibrator while she reads. 

Percy begins his drive home while he listens. It’s maybe not the smartest plan, but he can’t do anything else - he can’t wait to listen, and he doesn’t want to get caught somewhere in public when he’s done, because _holy shit_ is he going to need to do something about his rapidly hardening cock. As he listens, Vex’s voice gets shakier, and she starts to stutter on certain words. It’s honestly the hottest thing he’s ever heard. “She clung to him unconscious in passion, and he never quite slipped from her, and she felt the soft bud of him within her stirring, and strange rhythms flushing up into her with a strange rhythmic growing motion, swelling and swelling till it filled all her cleaving consciousness, and then began again the unspeakable motion that was not really motion, but pure deepening whirlpools of sensation swirling deeper and deeper…” 

Her voice breaks a bit on the last “deeper,” and her ragged breathing seems to fill the car around him. There’s a long pause, when only her breath and the rumbling of the vibrator are audible, and then she comes back, quiet and high pitched. “Fuck, Percy …”

Percy makes a rapid turn off the road (prompting a loud, angry horn to sound behind him) into the parking lot of a fast food restaurant. He parks at the back of the lot, away from the other cars, and leans back in his seat with a loud groan. He has to grab onto the sides of his seat to keep from doing anything that might get him arrested for lewd public behavior. All he can do is listen, rigid in his seat, as Vex continues to read - or attempts to. “...deeper and deeper through all her tissue and consciousness, till she was one perfect concentric fluid of feeling, and she lay there crying in unconscious inarticulate cries. The voice out of the uttermost night, the life!” It takes her twice as long as it probably should have to get through those lines, as she stutters and moans quietly in between most phrases. And then, at the end of the last sentence, she gives up entirely. “P-Percy,” she says, her voice little more than a sigh, and then all he hears are the telltale, devastating sounds of a woman having an orgasm. Of _Vex_ \- Vex coming for him, with his name on her lips. 

He lets the recording finish. There are no more words, just panting breath as she comes down, and then silence. For a long moment, he can’t move; he can’t remember ever being harder, or more turned on in his life. And here he is, sitting in a random parking lot, the woman he wants - well, gods know how far away she is right now. Physically, anyway. Digitally, there’s a good chance she’s sitting somewhere, waiting to see what he says about her recording. God knows that’s what he did while waiting for her to listen to his poetry. The problem is, he doesn’t know what to say. More to the point, he doesn’t know if what he wants to tell her is in any way appropriate. Of course (he thinks, laughing a little hysterically), they probably left “appropriate” behind around the time she pulled out her vibrator. Or, honestly, the first time she took off her shirt.

A moment later, he picks up his phone and opens the app he uses for recording notes. 

“Vex … fuck. I don’t even know what to say right now. Or why I’m recording, except I have to talk to you somehow, after listening to that. You’re - you’re just - fuck, Vex, I’ve never been so turned on in my whole life. Just from listening … listening to you come for me. Do you know how much I want you to be here with me? I want to watch your face when you come like that. I want to be the reason you come - I want it to be my hand, my mouth, anything, I just want to hold you and kiss you and make you come for me. Fuck, I want you to be here. I don’t even know where you live, but I want you to be here. Would you - I mean, would you come to me? To visit me? You’re so … so much, Vex, and I need this to be more than just an online thing. I might fucking die, if you send me anything more like this, when I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to actually have you. The next time you come while saying my name, I want to be looking you in the eye. I want you in my arms. I just want you, Vex. Fucking hell, I want you so much. I’m sitting in a parking lot, trying not to be that creep who jerks off in his car. I should have waited until I got home, but I couldn’t … you’re too tempting.”

He pauses for a breath, then continues rambling. “I don’t know what this is to you. If it’s just a game, some friendly teasing, I don’t know, but I need to tell you that it’s more than that to me. I want to meet you. Just tell me where to go, or if you want to come to me, I’ll buy your plane ticket. Just … god, Vex, just tell me you want to meet me too. Please. Or tell me this went too far and we can stop. But I hope you want … fuck, I hope.”

Percy clicks off the recording; the app gives him the option of sending the note to someone via one of a half dozen accounts. Before he can think better of it, he hits the “email” button and types in Vex’s address. 

After a few more deep breaths, he starts his car and heads for home. Maybe he’ll regret sending her that file later. If he does, it will be after he jerks off, because he’s not going to be able to think clearly until then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, Vex's particular spin on the erotic reading game is largely inspired by [Hysterical Literature](http://hystericalliterature.com/), which I highly recommend to anyone a) of legal age in your part of the world and b) interested in watching fully clothed women read books and have orgasms. No really. It's amazing.


	5. Chapter 5

_From: Vex  
To: Percy_

_Wow. Also, yes. That’s pretty much all I can say right now._

_From: Percy  
To: Vex_

_Yes? Yes to what?_

_From: Vex  
To: Percy_

_To meeting in person, you idiot. Especially after that. I went to bed early last night, so I didn’t get your message until today. You made me late for work, you know, because I couldn’t get out of bed for a while after I listened to your message._

_From: Percy  
To: Vex_

_You know, I was in such a state when I recorded that, I barely remembered what I said. Which doesn’t mean I didn’t mean every word. You really want to meet? Because that would be amazing._

_Also, it’s Sunday, why are you at work?_

_From: Vex  
To: Percy_

_Yes, I want to meet you. Gods, I wish you were close enough for me to visit tonight. The vibrator just wasn’t enough this morning._

_This week is ridiculous. Like, you have no idea how busy I am right now. I don’t get another day off until a week from Tuesday._

_From: Percy  
To: Vex_

_Fuck, stop saying shit like that to me. At least, stop saying it while I can’t come and see you afterwards._

_Anyway, ouch. Tell you what - this is kind of a stupid week for me, too, for personal reasons. Why don’t we table the travel discussion until we’re both a little less crazed? It’ll be something to look forward to._

_From: Vex  
To: Percy_

_If I’m not making you embarrassed and/or horny, how else am I supposed to amuse myself?_

_That sounds like a great idea. I’ll hold onto the idea while all hell breaks loose. You and me and somewhere private and nothing else to do for several days but each other. How does that sound?_

_From: Percy  
To: Vex_

_That sounds glorious. It’ll be a date._

_PS: amuse away. I wouldn’t have it any other way._

*

Percy is working on sketches for a new job bid when Vesper calls on Monday. “Percy. Please tell me you can do me a favor today.”

“Probably. What’s up?”

“That whole thing with the twins on Saturday night really worried me. I’m afraid they might fuck something up over at the park.”

Percy rubs his eyes. “Honestly, Vesper, I missed the beginning of that whole argument, what did they do?”

“I don’t know if they’ve done anything yet - gods, I hope they haven’t done anything yet. But they were making some inappropriate comments about my event planner. I talked her into looking after those two idiots as a favor to me. I really, really don’t want her to have to deal with my stupid brothers sexually harassing her.” Vesper sighs. “Quite frankly, I like her enough that I’m already trying to talk Mom into hiring her for the cancer research charity ball next month. I can’t have Whitney and Oliver scaring her away.”

“Understandable. But what can I do about it?”

“I’m drowning in RSVP drama over here today. Would you please go over to the park and check on them for me? 

Percy sighs. “Vesper, I have to have these sketches to my CEO by tomorrow. I’ll have the whole rest of the week free, but today’s really bad.”

“I know, I know, and I’m sorry. But I don’t trust anyone else to do it. Julius will just join them, Dad will just shake his head and do nothing, and they won’t take Ludwig or Cass seriously. I really want to go check on things myself, but suddenly several foreign dignitaries decided they wanted to come to the party after all, and I have to make all the arrangements for their housing.” He hears Vesper tapping her fingernails against her desk, one of the sure signs of stress. “Why the fuck does Syldor Vessar want to come? He and Mom hate each other. We only sent him an invite because we invited the current ambassador, and it seemed polite.”

“Probably, if I remember anything about him, he wants to be seen where all the important, powerful people are, and this weekend, that’s Mom’s birthday party.”

“True enough. But the Syngorn embassy is already full for the weekend, so I have to find him and his wife somewhere to stay. Oh, and now the whole Council from Emon is coming, too. So it’s a nightmare today.”

Looking at his sketches, Percy pinches the bridge of his nose, sliding his glasses up his face. “Fine. I’ll take an hour this afternoon and go check on the twins.”

“You’re my favorite brother, you know that?”

“I’d better be.” 

True to his word, a few hours later, Percy puts himself together to head for the park, dressing in one of his suits - he figures that, if he’s going to meet with this event planner as Vesper’s representative, he should probably look vaguely like a professional. (Also, it might be easier to intimidate the twins that way … oh, who is he kidding, they’re never going to be intimidated by him, but at least dressing better than they will be makes him feel better.) The park itself is only twenty minutes or so away from his flat, though he’s never actually visited before. It’s lovely, he notes as he pulls into the parking lot, the flower-lined walkway to the entrance awash in a riot of color. It looks less like a manicured garden and more like controlled natural chaos - which is likely why his mother and Vesper chose the place. They both enjoy nature, and abhor the idea of making it conform to a human’s whims. And these gardens, he finds, feel a lot like walking into the middle of a forest clearing, like crossing the line from the city into some kind of fairy world. The whole thing makes him smile.

He spots Oliver almost immediately, helping another man haul buckets with small green bushes down another path. “Hey,” he calls out, before Oliver can disappear down the path.

Oliver turns, his eyes widening. “Percy? What are you doing here?”

Percy puts his hands in his pockets and walks across the garden. “Vesper asked me to come check on you,” he says. “How’s it going?”

Oliver just rolls his eyes. “Of course she did. Neither of you trust us at all, do you?”

“Hey, I’m just doing as I’m told. But, for the record, you haven’t exactly been paragons of good behavior recently.” 

“One fuckup! One!”

“How about the DUI Dad had to talk Whitney out of?” Percy raises an eyebrow. “Or the pictures of you two and some ‘mysterious’ white powder that showed up in the tabloids the same week Mom was arguing with parliament? You guys have had a busy few months.”

“Yes, yes, I know, Percival the Great has never done anything wrong, ever in his life, and we’re the family fuckups. Whatever.” Oliver turns and picks his bucket back up. “I’m fine, Whitney’s fine, we’re all fine, tell Vesper to go fuck herself.”

Percy follows along behind his brother as he walks away, sighing. “I’ve done a lot of things wrong, and Mom and Vesper have slapped me upside the head more than once, but the issue is that your particular brand of fuckups are the public kind. Julius has probably done as much as you guys and more, but he somehow figured out how to be discreet about it. Why don’t you guys ask him how to keep things a little quieter?”

“Do you know why Julius didn’t get into this much shit?” Whitney suddenly materializes from another path. “Because Mom wasn’t Prime Minister yet when he was our age. People didn’t care as much what a member of Parliament’s family did. He did everything we do and more back then.” 

Percy considers that for a moment, then shrugs. “Fair enough. But the fact is, Mom is Prime Minister now, and people are watching all of us like hawks.”

“It’s not fair,” Oliver grumbles, “that we have to deal with Mom’s job like that.”

“Oh, bullshit.” Now Percy is the one rolling his eyes. “You guys think it’s great when you’re out and about, when it gets you girls and drugs and whatever else you want. You just don’t want to deal with anything that reminds you that those things come with a price.” 

“We get it, we fucked up, it was almost a disaster.” Whitney grabs the bucket from Oliver and starts to dig the greenery out, obviously to put in a corresponding hole in the ground. “Despite what you guys think, we’re not monsters, we were really scared when that girl collapsed. I want to have fun, I don’t want to hurt anyone while we do it. Not her, not you guys, not anyone. That’s why we’re here, to show Mom and Vesper and everyone else that we get it, and we’re trying. But you can’t leave well enough alone, can you?”

“Seriously,” Oliver adds, “even if we were stupid enough to be creeps to Vex, she could kick our asses without ruining her manicure, I’m pretty sure.”

Whitney just nods. “She reminds me of Vesper and Mom, to be honest. Which means I’m not going to fuck with her.”

Percy barely hears Whitney’s comment. “Vex?”

The twins just look at him. “The event planner? The woman in charge here?” Whitney says. “You know, the one Vesper likes so much, the one we’re supposedly trying to debauch while we dig holes in the ground?”

No, there’s no way - it can’t be, he really does have a one-track mind right now. Percy shakes his head to dispel the thought. “Listen,” he says, “I get it. I know you guys are getting more shit right now than you normally would because of this party. Vesper asked me to come over here, I did it, you guys seem to be doing just fine. That’s what I’ll report, and everyone will be happy, okay? And then a week from now, we can all go back to what passes for our normal lives.”

“Sounds good to me,” Oliver says, shrugging. Then, he looks at his twin. “Hey, do you know if the asshole brother is coming today?”

Whitney shrugs. Percy furrows his brow. “Asshole brother?”

“Yeah, Vex has a twin brother, he was here helping this weekend and he was a giant dick to us. If he’s gonna be here, I want to be somewhere else.”

Vex - twin brother - Percy is starting to feel a little light-headed. Surely it can’t be …

“Don’t worry, boys, Vax is at his real job today, you won’t have to deal with him.”

The voice gives her away before Percy can even turn around to see her.

Oh, _shit_. 

*

_Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck._

Right now, Vex is pathetically grateful that she heard his voice before she revealed herself. She can still hear her heart pounding in her ears, but the few seconds she gave herself let her regain enough composure to fake her way through this conversation. Though - gods, what does she say now? She can’t admit she knows him _… hey, I totally know your brother, we play video games and we’ve kinda been having cybersex lately._ The idea would make her laugh hysterically, if she didn’t feel a bit like puking.

“Hey, Vex,” Oliver says easily. “Would you like to meet yet another de Rolo?”

“Apparently I’m going to,” she says, her voice much lighter than she feels right now. But she manages to smile and stick out her hand. “Vex’ahlia Vessar, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

He hesitates for just a split second before taking her hand. “Percy de Rolo. The pleasure is mine.”

Percy. This is Percy. Percy is standing here, holding her hand, looking at her - holy shit. Vex is having a hard time breathing right now. He’s gorgeous; tall and lean, with wire-framed glasses and a shock of snow white hair. Vex remembers seeing him in pictures online now, he stands out amongst his family with that hair. But she never would have thought, never would have dreamed that Percy de Rolo was _her_ Percy. But here he is. His voice is unmistakeable, and it would be even if she hadn’t spent most of yesterday replaying his message to her over and over. 

Their handshake lasts a moment too long; finally, they both pull back at the same time. “So,” Vex says, trying for a professional voice, “what brings you here today?”

“My sister asked me to come check on the twins, see how they were doing.”

She looks at the twins. Thankfully, neither of them seem to notice anything amiss - they both seem to be looking at her with a bit of worry, for some reason. “They’re doing great,” she says. “I can’t even say anything about calling my brother an asshole, because I’ve done the same too many times to count.” Oliver and Whitney visibly relax at that; she throws Whitney a wink for reassurance. “They’ve been a great help this past week. I’m glad they’re here.”

“We love you, Vex,” Oliver says.

“Yeah, really. You’re awesome.”

“Well, get those bushes planted properly, and my gratitude will continue.” She looks back at Percy, as an idea suddenly occurs to her. “I actually have something in my office I wanted to give Vesper, would you mind taking it to her?”

“Of course.” Percy turns to his brothers. “See you guys at dinner tomorrow?”

“Maybe,” Whitney says, “but there’s a lot to do around here before the party, so we may work late.”

That makes Vex smile. “I wouldn’t want to keep you guys from family obligations.”

“No, really, we’re happy for the excuse,” Oliver grumbles.

“In that case, by all means, you can work as late as you want.” She turns around without looking at Percy again. “Follow me, I’ll grab what I need from my office.”

She walks away without looking to see if he follows. He catches up to her quickly - he’s nearly a foot taller than she is, so his strides are infinitely longer. When he doesn’t speak right away, Vex takes a deep breath. “Percy? It is you, right? I’m not caught in some bizarre case of mistaken identity, am I?”

“No, it’s me.” He stops walking. “Vex, wait.”

She stops and looks around. They’re alone on the path, out of earshot of his brothers, hopefully. So she turns to face Percy - he’s rubbing a hand over his face, watching her intently. She’s usually good at reading a person’s eyes, but she can’t even begin to fathom what he’s thinking right now. Maybe she’s just too freaked out - because holy shit, is she freaked out right now. “Did you know?” is the first thing she can think of to say.

“What? No! I had no idea!” 

“Your brothers are - your sister - holy fuck, your mother.” Vex covers her mouth with her hand. “Oh god. This is … I don’t know, this is …” It’s impossible to wrap her brain around, quite frankly. Her Percy is the prime minister’s son. He’s standing in front of her and she’s working for his sister and this is the biggest job of her career and what the fuck will happen if anyone finds out she’s been … doing whatever the fuck they’re doing with the prime minister’s son and ...

Percy’s eyes get wider as he watches her panic. “Vex - Vex, please, listen to me…”

He doesn’t have the chance to say any more. They’re interrupted by Kynan, barrelling down the path, looking wide-eyed and desperate. “Vex! Vex, oh thank the gods I found you - you have to come talk to the caterers.”

Vex’s first instinct is to snap at him, but she takes a deep breath and attempts to put her professional face back on. “What’s wrong with the caterers? I thought we were signing the final contracts today.”

“That’s just it. The pricing for the bar and the dessert table is twice as much as we discussed, and they’re insisting they never heard anything about the prices we have record of. They’re threatening to walk away if we don’t agree to their new prices.”

Vex presses the heels of her hands to her eyes. “They won’t walk away. There’s no way they’re giving up the prestige of catering the prime minister’s birthday party. But yeah, I need to talk to them.” Briefly, she considers telling Kynan she’ll be there in a few minutes, but the couple who run the catering company are both temperamental assholes, and the longer she keeps them waiting, the worst the argument is going to be. And - fuck, if she ever needed to be professional, now is the time. She looks back at Percy. “I’m sorry, we’re going to have to discuss this another time.”

He nods. “Of course. I won’t interrupt your work.” Then, he reaches into his suit pocket and brings out a business card, holding it out to her. “I know you’re working with my sister, but please feel free to contact me if you need anything, as well. I’m available any time.” 

It might be her imagination, but he seems to emphasize anything and any time. She takes the card and pockets it, nodding numbly. “Thank you. Please excuse me.” 

And then Vex runs away. Because she’s a coward - because she cannot deal with this, not right now, not this week.

She almost relishes the fight with the caterers. She needs the outlet for her anxiety, and the rude man and his overly smug wife provide the perfect excuse to release her frustration. She has the emails proving her numbers are the correct ones, but she has to spend some time debunking their claims of being cheated before the meeting is over. “For fuck’s sake,” she says to Kynan when it’s all over, “they really expect me to believe they’re on the verge of financial disaster when they received a very public six-figure fee for catering that reality show reunion party last month. We’re paying them even more for this. Fuck off and bake the goddamned cakes.”

Kynan grins, but he’s also edging towards the door. Remembering what Vax has told her about his father, she forces herself to relax and give him a genuine smile. “Thank you for coming to get me when you did. It was the right thing to do, and it saved me from an awkward conversation.”

“That was another one of the de Rolos, right?” 

“Yes, that was Percy.” She feels a shiver run down her spine when she says the name, and just like that, all the nervous energy that carried her through the meeting is gone. “Why don’t you go take a break? I need a bit to get through my email and think.”

“Sure, I’ll be back in a while.” He’s less nervous, but he still seems very happy to escape her office.

Alone, Vex slumps back into her chair and takes several long, deep breaths. Percy. Her Percy is Percy de Rolo, son of Johanna de Rolo, prime minister of her country and currently the woman who, in effect, holds the rest of Vex’s career in her hands. Literally, the course of her life - at least the next few years of it - depends on how professionally she can handle this party. She’s been working so fucking hard to do this right. And all along, she’s been having some kind of ridiculous online sexual thing with the prime minister’s son. 

“Fuck,” she says aloud into the empty office. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. What am I going to do?”

_You’re going to keep going and throw the best damned party you possibly can_ , the rational part of her brain tells her. It is, however, markedly silent on the question of what to do about Percy in particular. What if he tells his sister about her? What would Vesper think of her if she knew what she’d been doing with her brother - a man she’d never met, who she knew nothing about except in the context of a video game? Would she still be as happy with Vex’s professionalism then?

After a few minutes of this circular thinking, Vex forcibly shakes the thoughts away and turns to her computer. Sitting here and panicking will do nothing for the state of her email inbox, she thinks, so it’s time to at least pretend to do some work. The most recent email is from Vesper, which ignites another small spark of panic - but thank the gods, it’s only the finalized guest list for the party. _I’ll leave the exact seating arrangement up to you_ , Vesper writes, _but I recommend splitting me and my siblings up for the sit-down meal, so as many people as possible feel like they’re getting a part of the de Rolo family. Unfortunately, it’s going to be a working party for the seven of us._

Vex smile at the implied sigh behind those words, but then her eyes catch a word - no, a name - in the next paragraph, and her whole body freezes. _We got some unexpected last minute RSVPs in the last couple of days, so the list is longer than originally anticipated. It now includes Ambassador Syldor Vessar. I know he’s your father, because of course I did a background check before we hired you, but that check did give me the impression you aren’t in contact with him. So, I thought I’d give you a heads up._

There’s no cursing now - Vex is incapable of saying anything, or thinking anything, for a long few minutes. Maybe she should have thought about this possibility, she thinks when her mind finally allows her to do so. After all, he used to be the ambassador to this country; yes, he went home long before Johanna de Rolo was elected prime minister, but she’s been in parliament for years, and of course the two of them met at some point. Met, and were friends, it seems, if he’s going to bother to travel for her birthday party. “Oh gods …” she whispers.

With a shaking hand, Vex picks up her phone and opens up the app to check her personal email - she needs a break, just a tiny one, something to distract her from the absolute disaster this day has become. Maybe Vax sent her some pictures of his kids being ridiculous, or perhaps Keyleth emailed with the stupid punny jokes she loves so much. That’s what she needs right now. Something to remind her of the rest of her life, the part that isn’t suddenly a giant clusterfuck.

The first email she sees is from Percy, with a time stamp no more than ten minutes ago.

She closes the app and slides her phone forcefully towards the edge of the desk. “No,” she says aloud. “I’m going to work. I’m going to do my job. I’m going to do the best fucking job anyone has ever seen, and everything is going to be _just fine_.”

Maybe, if she repeats that often enough, she’ll start to believe it.


	6. Chapter 6

_Monday, 4:12pm_  
From: Percy  
To: Vex 

_I’ve been sitting here staring blankly at my screen for the last hour. I don’t know what to say, except that I had no idea you were the event planner my sister’s been talking about, I swear._

_I think this will be easier to talk about on the phone. Please call me. The number on my card is my cell, call me anytime._

_Tuesday, 8:43am_  
From: Percy  
To: Vex 

_I can only assume you got my last message, and have your reasons for not answering me, or calling me. But you’re on my mind, and I had to try again._

_If you were talking to me, you’d probably ask me why I didn’t tell you who I was. Well, be honest - if you knew, would you have treated me the same? I really liked that the guild was somewhere I could just be me, nothing to do with my mother or anyone else, just a guy who plays a game and nerds out with his friends. That’s all I wanted._

_Okay, not all I wanted. Not recently, not with you. But it was a good start._

_Please call me. Or just answer my email, even if it’s just to tell me to go to hell._

_Tuesday, 10:46pm_  
From: Vex  
To: Vax, Percy, Keyleth, Pike, Scanlan, Grog 

_I know we were planning to raid tomorrow night, guys, but this is the worst fucking week for me. I just got home after fifteen hours of work, and I’ll probably have to do it again tomorrow and Thursday. So I’m cancelling Wednesday night this week._

_Friday’s still on, though. I’m gonna need to shoot some shit by Friday._

_Wednesday, 1:33am_  
From: Percy  
To: Vex 

_Good luck. Try not to let Vesper drive you too crazy._

_If you want me, you know where to find me._

 

*

Vex makes it home just before 10:00pm on Wednesday night, which she considers a success. She finds her brother sitting on the couch, playing some kind of first-person shooter terribly. “I think you’re supposed to actually hit the enemies, dear,” she says, tossing her purse on the coffee table and joining him on the couch.

“Yeah, well, you know me, I’m more of a melee guy.” The speed with which he exits the game tells Vex that he was just wasting time until she arrived. “How’s party prep?”

She lets her head rest on the cushion behind her and closes her eyes. “We finally started on press logistics today. Apparently the room I had set aside for them is too small to hold all the people the Prime Minister’s office decided to grant press passes to, so we had to rearrange the plans I’ve spent a month agonizing over in the space of three hours. And because we had to move the room we were planning to store the food in, the health inspectors had to come out again - they bitched, but thankfully Vesper de Rolo was there and threw her weight around, because they weren’t going to listen to me.” And dealing with Vesper wasn’t exactly easy, given how freaked out she is about …

“What’s wrong?”

Vex cracks an eye open and looks sideways at her brother. “This entire week is what’s wrong.”

“No, you thrive on this kind of pressure. But you’re a nervous wreck. What’s up?”

“You don’t think having the entire country - no, more, this whole region of the world - paying attention to an event I’m running is enough to make me a nervous wreck?”

Vax shakes his head. “Not like this. I know you, Stubby, and something’s wrong. Tell me.”

She remains silent for a long moment. Then she sits up a little straighter, curling her feet underneath her. “Okay. So … it’s a long story, and you’re not going want a lot of the details. So I’m gonna sum it up. First … well, Percy and I have been having an online …thing.”

“A ‘thing.’” Vax frowns at her. “Define ‘thing.’”

“Those are the details you’re definitely not going to want.”

Vex would laugh at the face he makes if she wasn’t so exhausted. “Right. Got it. You and Percy. That’s cool … unless he did something dumb. In which case, I’ll be happy to fuck him up, either in game or out of it.”

“No, he didn’t … but …” She sighs. “Monday - well … Vax, our Percy is Percy de Rolo.”

“What?” Vax is silent for a long second. “What??”

“Yeah. Which I only found out because he came to the park to check up on his brothers. I wouldn’t have recognized him by sight, because I hadn’t seen him before, but his voice was unmistakeable.”

“Shit.”

“That about sums it up, yeah.”

“Okay …” Vax takes a moment to process this information. “So what happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“When you guys met? Did he know you were working for his family? Was he an asshole about it?”

“No … no, he told me he didn’t know. I didn’t get much of a chance to talk to him, to be honest, Kynan came and pulled me away pretty quickly.” She rubs her face. “But … fuck, Vax. He’s the prime minister’s _son_.” 

“Yeah, I got that part. But what did he say after that? Did you email him?”

“He emailed me. But …” She hesitates. “I’ve been too freaked out to answer him. He didn’t say much, just asked me to call him. He gave me his business card on Monday.” She reaches over and pulls it out of the side pocket of her purse, where it’s been since Monday afternoon. “I just … I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?”

“Like … what the fuck am I doing?” She gives a small, bitter laugh. “He’s … all that, and I’m just … me. And this is my whole career on the line, I’ve been busting my ass to prove how good I am at my job, and now it turns out I’ve been having online sex with a member of the de Rolo family! What the fuck?”

“First of all, that’s too much information for me. Please don’t ever mention your sex life again, real or virtual.” But Vax leans forward, his elbows on his knees. “You’ve been busting your ass at work, and you’re doing a phenomenal job. Percy has nothing to do with that. And you’re not ‘just’ anything - you’re a fucking superstar, and that boy should be thanking whatever god he worships that you’re even remotely interested in him.”

This time, her laugh is a bit more genuine. “You’re my brother, you’re obligated to say that.”

“Doesn’t make it less true.” Vax pokes her in the arm. “Why are you scared to talk to him?”

“I … I don’t know. It was easier when he was just some random guy. And I’ve been sort of pushing this whole … romantic thing, I guess. I’ve been leading it. I mean, he seemed to be just as interested - before all this, we were talking about figuring out how to meet in person. But now it’s like … fuck, I’ve been pushing myself at Percy de Rolo, which is way different than just flirting hardcore with my gamer friend Percy. It’s way more complicated.” She takes a deep breath. “And there’s more than that. You know who’s on the guest list for this stupid party?”

“Other than every fucking rich person in this country?”

“Lots of rich people from other places, too. Including Syngorn.”

Understanding dawns on her brother’s face. “Fuck.”

“Yeah.” Now Vex crosses her arms on the couch cushion, and buries her face in her arms. “You remember what it was like, when we were kids here, when he was the ambassador. And he’s apparently at least friendly enough with the de Rolos to merit an invitation to this party.”

“Or he’s just taking advantage of political ties to make himself seem more important, as usual.” Vax slides over on the couch and slings his arm around her. “And even if our asshole father is somehow friends with the prime minister … do we have any room to judge a person by their parents?”

Vex looks up and winces. “Ow. That was a low blow.”

“Necessary, though.” He pokes her in the side. “Listen, simple question - do you like Percy?”

“Yeah,” she says, without hesitation. Then, after a long pause. “Yeah, I really do.”

“Then talk to him, dummy. To hell with his mother, to hell with our father, none of that matters right now. If you guys like each other, you’ll figure it out.”

“That simple, huh?” Vex lifts her head and raises an eyebrow. “Hey, have you talked to Keyleth lately?”

“Oh, fuck off,” he mutters, which makes her laugh. 

A bit later, after a shower makes her feel vaguely human again, Vex sits down at her computer and, after staring at the screen for a long moment, types out a new email.

_Wednesday, 11:22pm_  
From: Vex  
To: Percy 

_Percy -_

_I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you this week. I won’t lie, I was freaking out. I still am, I guess, but my brother talked some sense into me tonight. (Don’t tell him that, though, we wouldn’t want him to start thinking he’s the sensible twin.)_

_I do understand why you didn’t tell me who you were. Because yeah, I probably wouldn’t have even gotten close to you, much less started whatever the hell we’re doing. And that would have been a shame, because you’ve been one of the things I’ve been looking forward to during all this work stress. But finding out you’re so intimately connected to the source of that stress, well, I didn’t handle that well._

_Okay, so there’s a lot of other shit rolling around in my brain, but it’s not really relevant right now. The point is, I’m really sorry, and if I haven’t fucked things up beyond repair, I’d like to talk to you._

_Is there any way you can stop by the park tomorrow? Maybe we can get coffee._

She hits send, and then puts her head in her hands. She knows she should go to bed, get as much sleep as she can manage this week, but … maybe just a little bit, see if she gets a response.

*

_Wednesday, 11:31pm_  
From: Percy  
To: Vex 

_I’m glad to hear from you. I was afraid you wouldn’t talk to me any more unless it was in game._

_I know it’s a lot to process, and this was probably the worst week to figure it out. I really, really wish I could meet you tomorrow, but I am officially Vesper’s bitch - yes, that’s the technical term - for the rest of the week. I had to argue just to get the time to come home and run the raid Friday night._

_Why don’t we talk after the raid? It won’t be face to face, but maybe that’s better dealt with after the party._

_Wednesday, 11:49pm_  
From: Vex  
To: Percy 

_I really am sorry. I don’t know what this is that we’re doing right now, but putting that aside, you’re my friend, and that’s not going to change just because I know who your family is, not if you don’t want it to._

_I don’t imagine many people say no to Vesper. So yeah, after the raid. Though, face to face gives me an idea - why don’t we Skype? I think whatever we need to say to each other, it’s probably best to actually see each other to do it._

_Wednesday, 11:53pm_  
From: Percy  
To: Vex 

_Skype sounds great. Talk to you Friday night._

_PS: I know it’s probably stupid to say, but try not to stress too much about the party. Vesper hasn’t stopped singing your praises since you started working with her. She’s really hard to impress, so trust me, you’re doing great._

_PPS: Please don’t tell her that she was worried about the wrong brother(s) sexually harassing you, okay?_

_Thursday, 12:01am_  
From: Vex  
To: Percy 

_Darling, it’s only sexual harassment if it’s unwanted. Let’s be honest, I’m the one who started this by harassing you._

_Thursday, 12:06am_  
From: Percy  
To: Vex 

_Like you said, it’s only harassment when it’s unwanted._

_Go to sleep, I’ll talk to you on Friday._

*

“Okay, Percy, spill it.”

Percy looks up from the speech Vesper has him reviewing and blinks. His sister is standing over him, hands on her hips. “Spill what?”

“You’ve been practically vibrating all week. Something’s wrong. What is it?”

“Don’t worry,” he grumbles, going back to the text on his phone, “it’s not going to affect the party.”

“What? Give me a little more credit, asshole.” When he looks back up at her, she’s scowling, and an expression of hurt briefly crosses her face. She sits down on the couch next to him. “No really, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” he says automatically. Then he sighs. “Nothing important. I’m just nervous about something, that’s all.” He wants to hear Vex’s voice - wants to hear her say everything is okay, that she wants to see him again. Her emails let him breathe again, but ever since, he’s been practically counting the hours until tonight’s raid. Another look at his phone tells him he has just under seven hours to wait. 

“About what?” Vesper bumps his shoulder with hers. “Come on, talk to me. Life isn’t entirely about this goddamned party.”

“Could have fooled me,” he grumbles.

“Percy.” When he glances at Vesper again, she looks more tired than he feels. “Please?”

Sighing again, he slips his phone into his pocket. “It’s ...complicated,” he says slowly. “But it’s about a woman.”

Immediately, Vesper perks up. “Is this the one you told me about a couple of weeks ago?”

Percy searches his brain. “Oh. Right, I did mention something, didn’t I?” Now the gears of his brain begin to turn - how to explain this without specifically mentioning Vex? He doesn’t think Vesper would judge them negatively (or, at least, she wouldn’t judge Vex negatively), but he doesn’t want to out Vex before talking to her about everything. “Well, things are sort of progressing with her, but there are some … speed bumps, I guess. The biggest one is that she’s a little freaked out over the whole de Rolo family thing.”

“Ah.” Vesper nods. “Well, the good news is, that’s a better reaction than her being super excited about it.”

“How do you figure?”

“Anyone who thinks it’s awesome being one of us is probably only in it for the fame. You remember Ben, right?”

“Ugh,” is Percy’s automatic response. Vesper’s ex is one of the most obnoxious social climbers he’s met - and that’s saying something. “Is he still with that girl from the dating reality show?”

“Don’t know, don’t care, if he fell off the face of the earth I’d throw a party bigger than this stupid event.” Vesper shakes her head, as if to clear the memory from her mind. “The point is, if your girl is nervous about getting into the kind of limelight we have to live with, that means she’s not interested in fame. That makes it infinitely more likely that she’s just interested in you, the person.”

“Yeah.” He actually has no doubt that Vex is more interested in Percy-the-person than Percy de Rolo, which is probably a good part of the reason he’s so interested in her. There’s a lot they don’t know about each other, but he really wants the chance to learn, if they can get past all this. “We’re supposed to talk some things out tonight, and I’m a little antsy, I guess.”

“You’ll be fine.” Vesper pats his hand. “You’re awesome, and if she’s worth it, she’ll see that you’re worth dealing with the rest of our family bullshit.”

That actually prompts Percy to grin. “Thanks, sis.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Now, tell me about her. What’s she like?”

“She’s … smart and funny and gorgeous. She likes a lot of the same nerdy things I do. And she’s constantly surprising me.” Just thinking about Vex makes Percy feel warm, which obviously shows on his face, because Vesper’s smile spreads even farther across her face. “And I’ll tell you more once she and I have figured things out, okay? I don’t want to jinx it.”

“Fair enough. But I want to meet her the minute you think it’s cool, alright?”

“I promise.” He’s not sure what Vesper’s going to say when she finds out he’s talking about Vex, but hopefully she won’t be too pissed at him.

The next few hours seem to crawl by, but eventually he makes it home and is able to sign into the game. He also signs into the voice chat, hoping that maybe Vex will make it home early and sign on, but he only finds Pike there. Which is fine, and leads to a great discussion of the new meta on healing builds, but Percy’s anxiety is still sitting in his stomach. It doesn’t get any better when Vax signs on early. “Hey, Percival,” he says, “I hear you’re having as crazy a week as my sister is.”

Percy sucks in a breath. “Yes,” he acknowledges. And then, after a beat, “I hear I owe you my thanks.”

“What for?” There’s a pause, then, “Oh. Right. Not a big deal.”

“What are you two talking about?” Pike asks.

“Nothing,” Percy says. “It’s a long story.”

After a moment, Pike just responds with, “Okay then.” And then Grog logs on, and they change the topic entirely. Except for the private in-game message Percy receives a moment later. _I’m working the party on Sunday, fancy boy. See you then._ Percy isn’t sure if that’s a threat or a promise.

Vex finally logs on about ten minutes before the raid is supposed to start. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she tells everyone. “I just got home from work about twenty minutes ago, and I’m shoving food in my face as we speak. We’re gonna start a little late, I still have to get my character geared up.”

“It’s okay,” he assures her. “Take your time.”

A message pops up on his screen after a few minutes. _Bet tonight?_

Percy feels a thrill run through him. _What do you propose?_

There’s a fairly long pause before the answer comes. _Why don’t we figure out what we’re comfortable with after we talk, hmm?_

_Fair enough._ The butterflies in Percy’s belly are no longer due to nerves, but anticipation. She still wants to bet. Maybe everything will be okay after all.

The raid is hard fought tonight - they all seem to be a little off their game, and the developers decided to buff a couple of the bosses in this week’s update. So it takes longer than it rightly should, and everyone is a bit snippy by the time they’re done. But when Percy hits the shortcut to post his DPS numbers to the group, he hears Keyleth start to laugh. “Oh my god, you two, you _tied_. How does that happen?”

He looks down at the chat window. He and Vex had posted their numbers simultaneously - and sure enough, they’re nearly identical. Vex has about a dozen points on him, but when both numbers are above 40K, that’s practically nothing. Percy can do nothing but laugh himself. “That’s amazing.”

“That’s teamwork,” Vex responds. “You and I are good together.” There’s a hint of softness to her voice that makes Percy hold his breath, hoping … just hoping.

“And on that note,” Vax says, more loudly than he probably should have, “I’m outta here for the night. If anyone wants to grind for the new weapons down in the dwarven city, I’ll be around tomorrow.”

In the cacophony of goodbyes, Percy gets a private message from Vex, with what is obviously her Skype username. _Call me in about ten minutes. I need to go get something to drink._ He disconnects from Discord and paces around his office for most of those ten minutes. What is she going to say? What will it be like to talk to her face to face, when he can see her expression, her lovely face? “Stop it,” he tells himself. “It’s going to be fine. You’re both going to be fine.”

It’s been ten minutes exactly (he knows, he’s been watching the clock on his computer) when he dials her account on Skype. Thankfully, she answers almost immediately - and there she is, dark hair pulled back into a braid, wearing what looks like a very old, very soft t-shirt advertising a 5K run for an environmental charity. She’s breathtaking, and Percy nearly forgets to breathe until she smiles and gives a little wave. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he replies. An awkwardly long pause ensues, before they both start laughing at the same time. “Right,” he says. “It’s … nice to see you again.”

“Yeah.” Vex ducks her head for a moment. “I’m sorry.”

“We’ve been through that. Apologies tendered and accepted, on both sides, I believe.”

She smiles at him - and wow, does that hit him like a punch to the gut. “Thank you. But I think I owe you some kind of explanation, about why this all hit me so hard.”

“You don’t owe me anything. I forget sometimes how stressful it can be to deal with my family from the outside. You were already dealing with us from one angle, and didn’t expect this one.”

Vex shakes her head. “It’s a bit more than that. It’s … it’s hard to talk about, really. And it probably sounds stupid, or at least, it sounded stupid when I was talking to my brother.” She shrugs. “Your name is intimidating, I guess.”

“I know. Would you believe me if I told you it intimidates me, too?”

“I don’t know,” she admits with a grin. “You’ve had more than 20 years to get used to it.”

“True. But that doesn’t change how ridiculous it is sometimes. Still, we’re just a family, underneath it all. A little dysfunctional, and under a lot of scrutiny, but just a family.”

“I know. I mean, I figured. I guess …” Vex sighs. “The bigger problem is my job, I guess. It means a lot to me to get this party right, and to make a good impression. And I don’t want it to look like … that is, I don’t … oh, fuck, this is going to sound really insulting, and I swear I don’t mean it like that.”

He’s figured out what she’s trying to say. “You don’t want it to seem like you have the job because of me.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not insulted. I mean … my brothers date girls like that all the time. The kind who want to be seen with a de Rolo, who want something out of the relationship other than just a relationship. Hell,” he admits, scowling, “I’ve dated a couple, though not by design. And then there’s Vesper’s ex-boyfriend … the point is, I know those people are out there. But I also know you’re not one of them.”

“I’m not worried about you.” The unhesitating statement makes something burn warm in Percy’s stomach. “I guess I’m worried about … well, what will your sister say?”

“If there’s one other person you don’t have to worry about, other than me, it’s Vesper. I told you, she loves you. She hasn’t stopped talking about what a good job you’re doing since you started on this party. I was apparently just not paying close enough attention to realize that her Vex was my Vex.” Her eyebrows raise at his phrasing, and Percy silently curses himself. “I mean ..”

“I know what you mean.” The smile she gives him is soft and warm, and he’s honestly afraid he looks like an idiot, the way he just stares at her with this goofy half-smile on his face. But then her smile fades a bit. “There’s another thing. On the topic of families.”

“What’s that?”

She hesitates for a long moment. “What do you know about Syldor Vessar?”

The seemingly random shift in conversation confuses him. “Um. I know he was an ambassador here for a long time. And I know my mom thinks he’s a jackass. That’s about it.”

As Percy watches, most of the remaining tension drains out of Vex. “Oh, thank all the gods.”

“What?”

She bites her lip and takes a deep breath before responding. “He’s my father.” Before Percy can open his mouth, she rushes on. “And he really is a jackass. That’s, like, the nicest word I would use. To make a long story very short, Vax and I ran away when we were teenagers, and we’ve been on our own ever since. I’d be happy if I never saw him again in my life, but he’s coming to this party, and I found out the same day I saw you, and I guess it made me freak out even more than I maybe would have otherwise. Because, well, if anyone’s the kind of person to think I’m sleeping my way to the top, it’s him … but I realized I shouldn’t fucking care what he thinks, because he’s a dick and I don’t even want to acknowledge that he’s related to me. If I’m lucky, he won’t deign to acknowledge me on Sunday, and I can go back to pretending he doesn’t exist.”

Percy watches her face during this speech; she’s so expressive, and she runs through at least a half dozen emotions as she talks. He realizes exactly how lucky he is - his family may be dysfunctional at times, but he’s never once had a reason to doubt his parents love him and are proud of him. Clearly, Vex can’t say the same, at least about her father. “I’m sorry,” is the only thing he can think of to say when she’s done. “He must be an idiot, if he doesn’t realize how amazing you are.”

The smile Vex gives him is enough to knock all sense out of his head. “You know what?” she says. “I don’t care if you actually mean that, or if it’s just a really good line, because it’s everything I needed to hear right now.”

“It’s not a line!” he protests, vaguely offended. “It’s the truth.”

“Well, I hope you keep thinking that after you get to know me better.” 

“Does that mean you do want to get to know each other better?” Percy’s been trying not to hope, but if she’s going to say it …

Vex nods. “Yeah. If you’re not too pissed at me for freaking out, then yeah, I’d really like to see where this goes.”

“I told you, I’m not pissed. And yes, let’s see what happens.” 

They stare at each other for a long moment before they both burst into laughter. “Okay,” Vex says. “I’m glad we settled that. Now, about tonight’s bet.”

“We tied. Well, alright, you beat me by an infinitesimal amount.”

“Nice vocabulary word, my friend, but it doesn’t change the fact that I did get more points.” She grins smugly, then laughs again. “But yeah. For all intents and purposes, we totally tied. Which means either we let the whole thing go this time, or we both pay the penalty.”

A small thrill runs through Percy at the idea of the latter. “We haven’t set the penalty for this bet,” he reminds her.

“I know.” Her gaze turns speculative, and Percy feels a response from a part of his anatomy that he’s been trying to keep under control. “So. We’re face to face now, and I know who you are, which I assume is what kept you from sending me any pictures.”

“Well, that, and the fact that I’m perhaps a little less comfortable with my body than you appear to be with yours.” 

“Oh, come now, I see nothing to be ashamed of, at least from this angle.” She’s definitely ogling him - and Percy’s cock is definitely interested in her regard. “Which is why I think we should show equal amounts of skin.”

“What?”

“You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.” Vex’s grin is pure wicked glee. “For every piece of clothing you take off, I’ll take off the same one. We go as far as you want.”

The idea is both terrifying and tempting in equal measures. “I’m only wearing three pieces of clothing right now,” he points out, looking down at his t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Me too. The same three, I imagine.”

Now that she says it, he can see her t-shirt molding to the shape of her breasts, without anything else between them. He considers the idea - all he has to do is take off his shirt in order to see her topless, live and in motion and just for him. It really seems like an unfair trade, but if that’s what she wants to do … “Okay,” he says, before he can talk himself out of it. “I’ll do it.”

Vex actually claps with glee, which is adorable and makes Percy laugh. “Gods, I’ve been wanting to know what you look like … you first, pick your piece of clothing.”

He only hesitates a moment before grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling it up over his head. He honestly doesn’t think he’s that much to look at - his brothers pay a lot more attention to their physiques than he does - but when he tosses the shirt aside and looks back at Vex, her eyes are dark with an appreciation that sends shivers down his spine. It makes him curse the distance between them, even if it’s a much shorter distance than previously thought - she looks like, if she had the chance, she’d be running her hands over his chest right now, and just the image makes him impossibly warm. He has to clear his throat before speaking again. “Your turn.”

Vex just winks at him, then takes the hem of her shirt and strips it up over her head. And - fuck, there she is, looking just as gorgeous as the photos she sent. No, more, because now she’s in motion, right in front of him. Her breasts jiggle a bit as she discards the shirt and leans forward on the desk, and gods, what he wouldn’t give to find out if they’d be as soft as they look in his hands. “I’d tell you my eyes are up here,” she says, her voice low, “but I rather like the way you’re looking at me right now.”

He looks up at her face, flushed but smug. “I’d apologize,” he answers, “if I didn’t think my appreciation was exactly what you want.”

“Oh, yes,” she murmurs. “It’s so nice to see what you look like when you look at me. I could hear it in your voice, but this … is better. Much better.”

Gods. He wants nothing more in this moment than to ask her address so he can race over to her and touch her. It’s worse, knowing she’s so close. “I am, at heart, a breast man,” he says, giving her a slow smile, “and yours are without a doubt the most spectacular breasts I’ve seen.”

“Flatterer,” she says, sticking out her tongue, but her blush deepens, spreading down to the skin of her chest. “So, is this as far as we’re going?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

Percy considers that for a minute. It wouldn’t hurt anything to go one step farther, would it? “No,” he says finally, “one more.” He pushes back from his desk and steps backward a bit - once he takes off his pants, his erection will be incredibly obvious, even with the boxer briefs, and he’s not sure he’s ready to have that be up close and personal with his webcam. So, after getting a little distance between him and the camera, he pushes his sweatpants down and steps out of them. 

When he moves to sit down again, Vex protests. “No, let me look at you for a minute.” He freezes, looking down at the computer screen to see her leaning forward on her desk, her breasts hanging heavy in front of her. She licks her lips, seemingly unconsciously, and Percy feels his cock twitch again - which she can surely see now, because her eyes widen and she bites her lip. “Gods,” she whispers. “Is that for me?”

“Yes,” he confesses, feeling himself blush. “It’s a common problem these days, when you’re in my ear.”

“It looks like the opposite of a problem to me.” 

“It would be less of a problem,” he says dryly, “if I wasn’t the only one here to take care of it.”

At that, Vex looks up at his face. “If I were there,” she says, her voice slightly rough, “I’d be on my knees right now, kissing you through your underwear.”

Percy nearly chokes on his own breath. “Vex. _Fuck_.”

She holds his gaze for a couple of seconds, then pushes herself back in her chair and starts to push at the waistband of the yoga pants she wears. Percy takes the opportunity to sit down - his erection has reached a painful point, where he’d really dearly love to wrap his hand around himself to relieve some of the pressure, but that’s not … that’s farther than they discussed, and he’s going to stick to the letter of their agreement until she says otherwise. Even if it was entirely unfair of her to give him the image of her kneeling in front of him, her lips separated from his cock only by a thin layer of fabric … _fuck_. He takes a few deep breaths to steady himself. 

As it turns out, Vex is wearing a pair of simple blue cotton briefs, which somehow look sexier on her than expensive lingerie would look on any other woman. She kicks her pants to the side and remains seated, scooting back in her chair and draping her legs over the arms of her chair. It’s - oh fuck, it’s an obscene position, even with the bit of fabric still covering her, especially when he sees a small damp spot on the fabric between her legs. “It’s only fair,” she says, “to let you see what you’re doing to me, too.”

“There’s nothing fair about it, Vex,” he says. “Fuck, do you know how much I want to touch you right now?”

“About as much as I want to touch you, I’d guess.” She brings her legs down and leans forward again. “Percy. We have two options right now.”

He almost misses the statement, as she brings her hand to her breast at the same time and begins rolling a nipple between her fingers. He groans without meaning to, before her voice penetrates his brain. “What are those?” he asks hoarsely.

Vex gives him a wicked grin, but he can see her trembling at the same time. “We could say good night right now, and retire to our respective beds to masturbate while thinking about each other. Which is probably the smarter option, I guess.”

Her other hand comes up, and now she’s playing with both nipples. Percy finds himself gripping his thighs hard enough to feel his nails dig into the flesh, just to keep himself grounded. “Um. The other option?”

“We finish undressing and come for each other right now.” 

She is - fuck, she is desire personified right now, and it would take a much stronger man than Percy to deny her anything. “Which would you prefer?” he asks, though he has a feeling he knows the answer.

“Percy … I really want to see your cock right now.”

He finds himself nodding slowly. “Okay.” And he stands up again and, with shaking hands, rolls the waistband of his boxer briefs down his legs, until he can step out of them. 

When he finally looks back at the computer screen, Vex is staring with an open mouth. “Fuck,” she says softly. He can only assume that’s a good reaction. His cock is certainly inclined to take it as such - the longer she stares, the more he can feel the blood pulsing through him. 

He sits down again (before his legs can give out on him) and puts his hands deliberately on the arms of the chair. “Your turn,” he says, catching her gaze and holding it.

Vex starts squirming in her seat, pulling at her underwear, without looking away from him. “Fuck,” she repeats. “You have no idea how much I want you inside of me right now.”

“It can’t be as much as I want to be inside of you.” His voice sounds more like a growl now, as he watches her toss her underwear aside and open her legs to reveal glistening curls and her wet core. At the sight, he can do nothing but wrap his hand around his cock, desperate for the contact. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, Vex. I can’t wrap my head around it.”

She props her legs up wide on the desk in front of her, giving him an excellent view of everything he wants to see, and leans back in her chair. One hand grips the headrest above her, and the other slips between her legs, her middle finger circling her clit and making her shudder. “Do you want me to tell you what I want to do, Percy?” she asks, her voice shaky. “I like talking dirty, if you like listening to it.”

“Fuck yes.” His hand is pumping up and down now, in a brutal rhythm that isn’t going to do much to prolong this moment, but he has no capacity for self control right now. “Talk to me, Vex.”

Her hand moves faster, and Percy makes a point to watch her fingers - he can’t see all the specific movements, but he’s going to remember some of this for when he gets his hands on her. (Please, if any gods exist, let him get his hands on her soon.) “Your cock is so beautiful,” she says, obviously focused on his hand as much as he is on hers. “I wish I was there, so I could just sit on it and feel it inside of me. Fuck, I want to kneel on that chair and ride you until we’re both fucking spent. Or maybe I’d just let you bend me over that desk and fuck me until I can’t walk straight.” She hits a spot that makes her whine a little, her back arching and her breasts jutting out towards him. “Percy,” she says, her voice breathy and a bit faint. “Tell me what you’d do, if you were here. Please.”

“I’d kneel between your legs and devour you,” he says, picturing himself doing exactly that. “I’d eat you out all fucking night, just to hear you come over and over again.” He doesn’t even sound like himself right now - he’s never been the kind of person who talks a lot during sex, or terribly explicitly, but she takes away all his boundaries, all his reason. Maybe that should be frightening, but right now, it’s the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to him. 

Vex’s response is simply to whine. She brings her free hand down and, as Percy watches, sinks two fingers inside, slowly pumping them in and out while she continues to play with her clit. “Percy,” she says, visibly trembling. “Are you close? I want to watch you come. Please.”

“Yes,” he mutters, and speeds up his pace. He really can’t deny her anything - and it’s not going to take long, not while he watches her finger herself, eyes half-closed, but still entirely focused on him. She’s breathing heavily through her mouth, her chest heaving, and the sounds her fingers are making have gotten loud enough that he can hear them through the microphone. When she makes a small keening noise, he’s undone - one convulsion, and he’s spilling over his hand and onto his stomach. He keeps his eyes on her the whole time; now hers go wide, and her fingers go faster. 

Now sated, Percy can scoot closer to the desk and watch without distraction as she reaches the edge and tumbles over. Her whole body shakes; she can only make incoherent, high-pitched sounds while she comes. When she slumps into the chair and removes her hands from between her legs, he desperately wishes he was there to take her in his arms. “Percy,” she sighs, looking at him from under her lashes. “Oh. Wow.”

“Yeah.” He can’t believe he just did that. He’s sweaty and sticky and needs a shower desperately, but honestly, it’s all worth it for the smile that’s spreading across Vex’s face. “I wish you were here,” he says.

“If this week wasn’t …” She waves her hand in the air, obviously unable to string the words together properly. “I would have come over to do that right. But I have to be up …” She looks at the computer screen and groans. “... in about five hours.”

“Ugh.”

“Yeah. I should … clean up, and sleep, I suppose.” She closes her legs and sits up straighter. When she speaks again, her voice is a little more hesitant. “I guess I’ll see you Sunday?”

He nods. “Definitely. And Vex?”

“Hmmm?”

“After the party … like, next week sometime, maybe we can go to dinner?”

It feels a little ridiculous, to be asking her out on their first actual date when they’re sitting there naked, coming down from mutual orgasms, but it’s worth it to see the bright smile cross her face. “That sounds nice.” 

“Good. We’ll talk about it on Sunday, then.”

“Yeah. Sunday.” There’s a moment of hesitation, then Vex touches her fingers to her lips and reaches out to her webcam, as if to transfer the kiss to him. On a whim, Percy reaches up as if to catch it, which makes her smile again. “Good night, Percy.”

“Good night, Vex.”

It’s a good thing he doesn’t have to get up quite so early, because he lays awake for quite some time, replaying the whole experience in his head. “Sunday,” he murmurs aloud. Sunday, they’ll get through his mother’s ridiculous party, and then he’ll finally get to spend some time with Vex in person. 

He can’t fucking wait.


End file.
